My life on crack at 2 am

vent

cant anymore ughh

so tired all the time

and then i feel bad cus i barely get any homework but im so tired

and everyone is so skinny and i tried eating less but its not working

i just want to cry 24/7

i cant draw anymore

i cant write anymore

i dont want to

but i cant complain so much at school because im gonna get judged

so tired

i want to stay first chair for trombone but it feels like os much pressure

and science makes me want to jump out the window or drown myself in one of the fish tanks there with the rotting corpses of the fish and snails

like they need to throw those out

and there's this one girl

she's so so annoying

but she's so skinny

and i want to be skinnyt oo

i wish i was prettier

my friend says ill look good with longer hair

but im not so confident

i feel like i only really anjoy myself with my closest friend

i feel like im putting up a "fake" more "supportive" version of myself for others

its so hard trying not to be selfish

idk how people do it naturallyits so hard

i wish i could just be happy all the time

i cant stop comparing myself to other people