My life on crack at 2 am

33

Child in my English: How do you spell 'says'

English teacher: If I was being chased by Paw Patrol, that would be Individual vs. Individual.

Slideshow: Bob takes Mary's nachos so she dumps Dr. Pepper on his head.

English teacher: Bob is going to show up all year, don't worry.

English teacher: He's going to die in today's lesson but he'll come back.

English teacher: Bob must survive the planet of hot lava!!

English teacher: I don't remember the main character's name. Let's just call him Bob.

English teacher: Oh, his name is John.

English teacher: You can call him Bob is you want.

English teacher: Bob hates paying taxes so he dumps tea into the Boston harbor! Bob is a time traveler, by the way.

English teacher: Bob is killed by a ghost! This is an example of Individual vs. Supernatural.

English teacher: Not only can Bob travel to the 1700s, he can also reincarnate himself.

English teacher: *puts on a clip from a movie*

Random child: It's that dude from Shrek!!

Then we took the goofy ah English quiz. Its questions told a very questionable story-

obviously i can't remember it word for word so here's my paraphrasing:

Bob can't decide whether to go out with his girlfriend Mary to see a movie or stay home to do his English homework.

Bob's mom yells at him to do his homework.

Bob works on his homework unil 11 pm.

Bob's printer is broken.

Bob breaks into a store to steal a printer and is arrested.

Mary breaks up with Bob.

Bob is haunted by ghosts of English teachers past who tell him to do his homework.

Mary can't decide whether or not to get back with Bob, because he's a loser. He is kind of cute though.

Bob goes to Mary's house but is stuck in a blizzard and is attacked by hungry wolves.

Bob can't decide which is worse - the loss of his limbs by ravenous wolves or the loss of Mary's love.

Mary and Bob's mom head out with snowshoes and beat the wolves with frying pans.

PE was actually decent today even though we ran a lot we got 5th place out of 12 teams in this goofy ah scavenger hunt

Random dude: High five!

Teammate 1: *high fives him*

Me: Who's that

Teammate 2: Her boyfriend

Teammate 1: No he's not! *bodyslams/elbows Teammate 2*

nah but like Teammate 1 and Teammate 3 kept leaving Teammate 2 and me behind

Band teacher: Like A, but up

Mallets child: Huh

Band teacher: Trumpets, you ruined the ending

Band teacher: We can ruin it ourselves, we don't need your help

Trumpet child: *blows into trumpet*

Trumpet child: What

Band teacher: I go home and I have a life!

Band teacher: Or I try

Band teacher: Teachers go home and try to have lives, you know!

Band teacher: Front two rows was like getting pokes with a pencil.

Band teacher: Annoying, but I can take it.

Band teacher: Back two rows, that was like hitting me with a basketball full of mud.

Band teacher: I can stand getting hit with a basketball, just not with mud.

Band teacher: Don't throw a basketball at me.

Random bus child: I can see the [insert school name] carpet, bRUH!!

Nah but in Science last week we had to do this goofy ah Levels of an Ecosystem where you choose an organism and put pictures in for Organism, Population, Community, and Ecosystem.

Now idk abt you but the last time i learned about this shit was in 3rd grade and there's no way i'd remember it now.

So for Organism I put an axolotl, Population I put a graph of axolotls' dwinDLING numbers, Community I put a bunch of axolotls together, and Ecosystem I put their habitat in.

I got a .5/1

but like Science Teacher didn't even explain it, she just said to put pictures in. 

and when she went over it in class, i couldn't unSUBMIT the document and fix it.

so mad ughh

ooh but clubs start next week finally