My life on crack at 2 am

Rant abt children's realistic fiction and I mean books for 2nd grade children

I do not like reading realistic fiction books about children my age or younger.

Allow me to ellaborate.

Yall ever just read a children's mystery book

and there's 8-year old children doing 10000 iq 4d chess move galaxy brain schemes

like how yall doing that

you're literally smarter than me?? you're literally 2nd graders like yall aren't even supposed to know multiplication yet????? 

i understand if it's a fantasy novel and the child is *naturally gifted with magical powers and super good brain* then sure but like realistic fiction what yall doin??

like if you guys have ever read Nancy Drew and the Clue Crew then maybe you know what i mean

Nancy Drew and the Clue Crew is basically a child-friendly version of Nancy Drew where Nancy, Bess, and George are all 8.

so I was reading one of those books where Dierdre has a sweet half sixteen (???? where are they coming up with this what kind of 8 year old child does this, bc i sure didnt??) and stuff

and in another book they're investigating a moving snowman (yall let your 2nd grade children roam around?? and isn't George supposed to be tech savvy? are yall just giving her a phone and saying "here, do you html but don't bother me"??)

and in another one they're investigating a case of stolen kittens (WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS TOWN??)

also I hate how Dierdre is basically Stereotypical Popular Mean girl because yall are EIGHT. EIGHT. SECOND GRADE AGE.

when i was in 2nd grade Popularity was basically a myth. and anyway in the US a lot of 8-year olds are busy on Roblox or smth idk what the hell they're doing.
also what kind of parent just lets the children walk around town without supervision? like even to the park???

another example is the A to Z Mysteries

THEY'RE NINE!! NINE AND SOLVING SMUGGLER AND BURGLARY CASES!! WTF?????

also wow i never knew they were published in the 1990s and early 2000s

THEY'RE SOLVING KIDNAPPING CASES!!

WHAT IN THE NAME OF GALAXY BRAIN IS THIS WITCHCRAFT

like someone explain how these SECOND GRADERS have all this free time like yall don't have school? or homework??

like harry potter i can forgive bro is in wizarding school idc what you're learning there

BUT YALL SECOND GRADERS WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW MULTIPLICATION ARE SOLVING MYSTERIES THE POLICE COULDN'T.

ok thanks for coming to my ted talk goodbye