Wanda/Elizabeth One-Shots

"My Loveable Idiot" (W.M)

Ethan: Hi honey, I'm home!

Wanda: Oh no, why do I feel like I should be worried right now? What did you do this time, Ethan?

Ethan: What? I didn't do anything! Can't a guy just happily greet his beautiful girlfriend without suspicion?

Wanda: Not when that guy is you. Spill it, what's going on?

Ethan: Well, I may have accidentally set the microwave on fire trying to cook pizza rolls...

Wanda: Ethan! That's the third appliance this month. How do you even set a microwave on fire?

Ethan: In my defense, I didn't read the cooking instructions all the way through. But don't worry, I cleaned it all up. Oh and I wanted to tell you, I signed us up to take a pottery class together!

Wanda: A pottery class? Ethan, the last time you tried being crafty you spilled glitter glue all over the carpet. Why would you think this is a good idea?

Ethan: Come on, it'll be fun! I'll make you a nice vase or something. I'm basically an expert sculptor already, how hard could it be?

Wanda: Knowing you, very hard apparently. But fine, one class. Just please try not to cause any ceramics-related disasters.

Ethan: You got it, babe! Ooh, I'm gonna make you the best ugly holiday sweaters for next Christmas! Speaking of holidays, I booked our ski trip getaway over New Year's. I can't wait to hit the slopes!

Wanda: A ski trip? Ethan, you've never even been skiing before. And the last time you tried ice skating you fell on your butt and took out three children.

Ethan: Those kids were asking for it, they shouldn't have been zooming around so fast. Come on, skiing together will be romantic! Snuggling by the fire after a long day on the mountain? Perfection.

Wanda: Okay yes, that part does sound lovely. But I really think you should take a lesson first before hurling yourself down a mountain at high speeds on two slippery sticks.

Ethan: Pfft, lessons. I don't need to take a class to learn how to ski, I can figure it out. How hard could it be? Worst case, I tumble down the bunny slope a few times before getting the hang of it.

Wanda: Famous last words. Alright, but I'm signing you up for a beginner lesson when we get there. Otherwise, I'll spend the whole trip worrying you've gone careening off a cliff.

Ethan: Fine, you win. I'll take one stupid little lesson if it makes you happy. But after that, I'm hitting the double black diamonds! Woohoo, watch out mountains - here comes Ethan Stark, pro skier extraordinaire!

Wanda: I seriously question your judgement sometimes. But I suppose that's part of your reckless charm. Just promise me you'll be careful and not break any bones on this ski trip?

Ethan: Scout's honor! I'll stick to the kiddie slopes and take things slow, stopping to smell the pine trees and everything. Then we can snuggle by the fire with hot chocolate after. Sound good?

Wanda: That sounds perfect actually. Maybe this getaway won't be a total disaster after all. But you're still not allowed near any cooking appliances when we're gone! I don't need a ski lodge fire to deal with too.

Ethan: Hey! My cooking skills aren't that bad. But fine, I promise no flambé experiments on this trip. Now come on, we gotta go shopping for cool new ski gear! I'm thinking matching snowsuits? Please yes babe!

Wanda: And suddenly I feel very tired and may need to lie down... You're lucky I love you, you adorable idiot. Let's just take this one vacation idea at a time, okay?

Ethan: Whatever you say, baby! Don't worry, I'll make sure our trips are nice and relaxing, with minimal potential for chaos. Get ready for the most fun, romantic winter of your life!

Wanda: That's what I'm afraid of... Somebody remind me why I date this disaster man again? Oh right, because life is never boring with him around. Here we go, I guess..