Wanda/Elizabeth One-Shots

Charisma? (W.M)

Ethan Stark sauntered into Avengers headquarters' lounge area, where Scott Lang, Sam Wilson, and Bucky Barnes were hanging out chatting. Grabbing a soda from the fridge, Ethan plopped down on the couch next to Sam.

"Sup fellas, what'd I miss?" he asked casually before taking a big gulp of his drink.

"Oh, we were just having a fascinating discussion comparing all our dating histories," Scott explained, a mischievous glint in his eye. "And realized no one knows much about your romantic exploits before Wanda came along."

Sam elbowed Ethan playfully in the ribs. "Yeah man, you gotta give up the goods! How does a guy like you rope in so many hot women? What's your secret?"

Ethan just shrugged nonchalantly. "Beats me. Girls have just always...liked me for some reason. Even when I was a little shrimpy kid, they were always trying to play house or whatever with me."

Scott shook his head in disbelief. "It's so unfair! You've clearly got some kind of superpowered chick magnet thing going on. Must be nice," he grumbled.

"Seriously, we're all scratching our heads over here trying to figure out your magic touch with the ladies, Romeo," Bucky added with an amused chuckle. "How does a spacey oddball like you attract women like flies to honey?"

"An oddball space cadet who also happens to be a rich, hot superhuman stud - guess that combo is irresistible," Sam noted wryly. "Man's got the whole package working for him. Killer genetics, right?"

Ethan just laughed good-naturedly at their gentle ribbing. He knew it was all meant in jest.

"Alright lover boy, you gotta give us more details," Scott insisted eagerly. "Did hooking up with an Eternal cosmic being like Sersi short-circuit your pheromones or something?"

At the name drop, Bucky's eyes went wide. "Hold up, you actually dated a literal Eternal? I want to hear this."

Even Sam perked up interestedly at that tidbit. "Oh it's story time now. You can't reference an Eternal ex that casually and not share more."

Scratching his head, Ethan replied "I mean, I've gotten lucky meeting amazing women like Sersi over the years..." He tried waving off their requests for more salacious details, not wanting to kiss and tell.

But Scott and Sam immediately started rapid-fire peppering him with questions about other alleged famous exes they'd heard rumors about, like the powerful telepaths Jean Grey and Emma Frost.

"Guys, guys, enough with the interrogation!" Ethan finally exclaimed through his laughter. "A gentleman never kisses and tells about such private matters."

Sam just snorted in response. "A gentleman, he says. Pretty sure I remember you drunkenly bragging all about your crazy sexcapades during poker night last month when Tony brought out the good stuff."

Looking offended, Ethan insisted "A man can reform and become more discreet in his older years." But his façade quickly cracked and he dissolved into snickers a second later.

The four men continued bantering and joking around, reminiscing about funny dating mishaps and disasters they'd experienced over the years. But eventually conversation circled back around to Ethan's seemingly endless parade of romantic prospects before Wanda came into the picture.

"In all seriousness though, we're all still kinda baffled how someone as eccentric and goofy as you managed to land and keep a catch like Wanda," Bucky mused. "No offense, but you two seem...not the most obvious match on paper."

Ethan just smiled softly as he thought about his beloved girlfriend. "Guess opposites attract. We just connect, you know? She somehow gets me." The sincerity in his voice made the other men nod in understanding.

"Gotta admit though, still blows my mind to think about you managing to date all those crazy powerful women back in your wild youth," Sam chuckled. "I'd think they'd squash you like a bug if you got on their bad side."

Ethan laughed breezily. "Yeah, I've been with some real spitfires over the years. But the ladies just find me irresistible, always have." He added an exaggerated eyebrow waggle, hamming it up.

The others all groaned loudly in unison and started playfully pelting Ethan with pillows. "Don't let all that supposed romantic history go to your head too much there, Cassanova," Scott jokingly cautioned.

Just then, Bucky noticed a familiar red glow reflecting off the wall, and looked up to see Wanda herself standing in the doorway behind them. Eyes widening comically in alarm, he tried frantically gesturing for Scott and Sam to warn Ethan to zip it. But they were too busy giggling at Ethan's exaggerated modeling poses to notice Bucky's signals.

"I'm serious guys, since I was just a little kid, femmes have been flocking to me left and right," Ethan boasted teasingly, flexing his arms and waggling his eyebrows. "It's a curse, I tell ya. Ain't a single female on Earth immune to my studly Stark charm."

Right on cue, an delicate cough sounded from directly over Ethan's shoulder, causing him to freeze mid-pose. The color instantly drained from his face as he whirled around to see Wanda standing there with one eyebrow raised, tapping her foot expectantly.

"Oh! H-hey babe...didn't see you there," Ethan stammered out awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Beside him, Scott, Sam and Bucky grimaced in anticipation of the impending fireworks.

"Clearly," Wanda replied drily. "And yes, I happened to overhear exactly what sort of scintillating conversation you boys were just engaged in." Before Ethan could so much as squeak out an apology, Wanda reached down and firmly pinched his ear, eliciting a startled yelp. "You. Me. Bedroom. Now."

The other three averted their eyes sheepishly as Wanda proceeded to drag a stumbling Ethan out of the room by the ear, already berating him loudly in what sounded like angry Sokovian.

Bucky let out a low whistle once they were gone. "So on a scale of 1 to dead, how screwed do you think our pal is right now?"

"Eh, he'll be fine once he turns on the puppy dog eyes and charm," Scott predicted confidently. "She can only resist that look for so long before she caves."

And sure enough, sometime later Ethan sauntered back into the lounge looking slightly singed around the edges but otherwise satisfied. Wanda just shook her head indulgently behind him, unable to stay genuinely angry at him for long.

Needless to say, the guys quickly learned to avoid any future critiques about Ethan's love life and exes. Some topics were better left unexplored!