Wanda/Elizabeth One-Shots

Beard (W.M)

Ethan Stark eagerly inspected his reflection in the bathroom mirror, turning his head from side to side to admire the full beard he had been meticulously grooming for weeks now. Running his fingers through the coarse facial hair, he couldn't help but grin proudly at this new rugged, masculine version of himself staring back.

No more would he have to endure jokes about looking like a prepubescent teen. With this beast of a beard, Ethan finally felt like an adult man's man. Even his dad Tony would have to admit his goofy kid had matured into a veritable bewhiskered lumberjack!

As Ethan continued preening, carefully combing and shaping the impeccably trimmed beard, his girlfriend Wanda happened to wander into the adjoining bedroom. Pausing in the doorway, she raised a puzzled eyebrow at her boyfriend's unusual intense focus on his own reflection.

"Well, someone is certainly paying extra close attention to his looks today," she remarked. "Should I be jealous of my apparent competition for your affections?"

Twirling with feline grace, Ethan greeted Wanda with an exuberant grin. "Babe, check it out!" He proudly framed his bearded face between his hands as if unveiling a priceless work of art. "I've achieved peak masculine perfection. Go ahead, bask in the awesomeness."

Biting back an amused smile at his unconcealed vanity, Wanda tilted her head and eyed him critically, thoughtfully assessing this drastic change from his typically clean-shaven, boyish appearance. She had to admit, with his strong jaw now covered by a thick, flawlessly manicured dark beard, Ethan did seem more rugged and mature.

"It's definitely a...bold new look for you," Wanda finally said diplomatically. "Dare I ask what inspired this sudden foray into extreme lumberjack cosplay?"

Dragging his fingers through the bristly facial hair almost reverently, Ethan explained, "I dunno, I guess I just got tired of looking like some teenager who barely started puberty. Figured it was time to grow up and cultivate a more sophisticated, chiseled visage befitting an Avenger." He turned his head side to side, scrutinizing his bearded profile approvingly.

Wanda wrapped her arms around Ethan's trim waist. "But you know I've always found you incredibly handsome just as you are, with or without whiskers," she assured him sincerely.

Ethan shook his head, unconvinced. "Nah, you just don't get it babe," he insisted. "Chicks dig dudes with beards way more. It's like, scientifically proven to make men a gazillion times more attractive."

Biting back another smile at this confident claim, Wanda replied, "Oh it is, is it? And just who conducted this definitive scientific study proving bearded men are more irresistible?"

"Everyone knows! I'm just saying, now that I'm rocking this beast of a beard, ladies will be all over me even more than usual," Ethan claimed boastfully, waggling his eyebrows for emphasis.

Raising one hand to her chest in feigned distress, Wanda gasped, "Is that so? Well in that case, perhaps I'd better sneak in and shave off that beard while you're sleeping tonight. Can't have you becoming too wildly irresistible to the general female population now, can we?"

For a split second, Ethan grabbed his hairy cheeks in genuine horror at the thought of losing his precious new beard before realizing Wanda was just teasing him. "You're just jealous over how crazy hot and sexy this makes me now," he shot back playfully. "But don't worry babe, you know you'll always be my number one girl."

Shaking her head indulgently at her ridiculous, vain boyfriend, Wanda laughed. "While I admit it will take some getting used to, I suppose I cannot fault you for wanting to experiment with a more bold, distinguished look as you mature."

Ethan rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Here, I'm gonna prove it to you. Just wait til you experience the raw animal magnetism of this bad boy up close and personal."

Before Wanda could react, he swept her up into a dramatic dip and captured her lips in a tickly, bristly kiss. The unfamiliar abrasion of his beard against her skin made Wanda squeal in surprise. But after getting over the initial shock, she melted into the kiss, tentatively reaching up to run her curious fingers across the unexpectedly soft facial hair. She had to concede, this new texture wasn't entirely unpleasant. Just different.

When they finally broke apart for air, Ethan had a smug, self-satisfied grin spread across his bearded face. "See? You totally can't keep your hands off my sexy new beard," he crowed, clearly considering this irrefutable proof that facial hair amplified attraction.

Wanda felt her cheeks flush, both from their steamy embrace and a bit of embarrassment at having been caught stroking his beard unconsciously. With a huff, she swatted his chest in feigned annoyance. "Oh hush, you impossible, vain man." But she couldn't contain her helpless smile of amusement. Facial hair or not, she loved this infuriating, adorable goofball with her whole heart.

In the following weeks however, Wanda began to rethink her acceptance of The Beard, as she and Ethan took to calling it jokingly. Now when they went out together, Wanda noticed other women overtly ogling her suddenly more rugged and mature-looking boyfriend.

Random passersby on the street would do shameless double takes when they strolled by. Waitresses became exceedingly friendly and attentive during meals, finding transparent excuses to linger by their table. Even fans and agents seemed eager to cozy up to this unexpectedly burly lumberjack iteration of Ethan Stark.

One day after witnessing yet another overtly flirty retail clerk practically drool over Ethan as she rang up his purchase, fawning over his impressive beard, Wanda finally decided enough was enough. There were limits to her patience.

Pausing right outside the shop's doors, Wanda placed her hands sternly on her hips and turned to face Ethan head on. "Ethan Stark, please tell me honestly that you didn't grow this massive pelt on your face solely for the purpose of attracting ogling eyes and lustful attention from other women," she demanded, gaze boring into him.

Looking like a deer caught in headlights, Ethan frantically waved his hands. "No, of course not babe! You've gotta believe me, you know you're the only chick in the world for me. Just you!" he insisted vehemently.

Wanda continued scrutinizing him closely, eyes slightly narrowed. Ethan fidgeted under her probing stare, feeling like she was peering directly into the depths of his soul. After a tense moment that felt like an eternity, Wanda finally seemed to accept his panicked assurances were genuine. Her posture relaxed and she nodded, apparently satisfied.

But then she suddenly grasped Ethan firmly by the shirt collar and yanked his face down to hers. Before he could react, Wanda captured his mouth in a blisteringly steamy, possessive kiss right there on the busy sidewalk, aggressively threading her hands through his hair and beard as she marked her territory.

By the time she finally released a stunned Ethan, they were both panting and disheveled. Clearing her throat, Wanda neatly straightened her mussed clothes and hair, then patted Ethan's dazed, stubbly cheek gently.

"Just in case any other women get the wrong idea, consider that a reminder of whom you belong to," she purred smugly. With a wink, Wanda then breezily left as she held Ethan hand as she guided him to a near by hotel. Ethan knew he will have a good time.