Wanda/Elizabeth One-Shots

Kidnapping Mishap (W.M)

Ethan Stark rubbed his hands together gleefully as he put the finishing touches on his master plan. Today was the day he finally got his dad, Tony, to accept his girlfriend Wanda as part of the family.

Those two headstrong personalities had never quite seen eye to eye. But Ethan was determined to bring them together, whatever it took! Even if that meant resorting to some slightly underhanded schemes...

"Okay, they both think I'm going to the lab for the afternoon while Dad's in meetings and Wanda is out running errands," Ethan muttered to himself. "Which gives me time to set the bait and get them in the same room."

He pulled out two ominous notes he had carefully crafted and addressed to Tony and Wanda, warning them of a threat to Ethan's safety. Nothing too serious, just enough to lure them to his location, worried for his wellbeing. Then they'd have to talk things out once realizing it was a ruse!

Ethan congratulated himself on the clever idea as he sealed the ransom-style notes. He left them prominently displayed where Tony and Wanda were sure to find them later, then settled in to wait eagerly.

"Any minute now they'll come bursting in, angry at first but then bonding over concern for me," Ethan said, rubbing his hands together. "I'm a genius!"

But as the hours ticked by with no sign of either Tony or Wanda, Ethan grew worried. "JARVIS, did my dad and Wanda get their notes?" he asked anxiously.

"It appears Mr. Stark disregarded the message as an obvious prank, sir," JARVIS replied. "And Ms. Maximoff has not yet returned from her outing."

Ethan groaned and face-planted dramatically onto the table. So much for his brilliant idea! Of course his dad was too flippant and Wanda too smart to fall for something so transparent.

"Well, only one thing left to do," Ethan declared, jumping up with renewed determination. "I'll just have to get myself actually kidnapped!"

Never one to think things through, Ethan donned a disguise and headed to a sketchy part of town, intent on getting "captured" by some small-time crooks to really sell the ruse. Without telling anyone his new harebrained scheme, of course.

Wandering down an ominous alleyway, Ethan could hardly contain his excitement. "This is perfect! Dangerous but not too dangerous," he said, scouting for thuggish characters. "Getting fake snatched by random goons is way better than those notes!"

Just then, a van screeched up and two intimidating armed men jumped out, grabbing Ethan roughly. "Target acquired. The boss is gonna love studying this enhanced freak," one growled menacingly.

Ethan's blood ran cold. These weren't opportunistic street criminals—they were organized, and specifically hunting enhanced humans!

"Uh, I think there's been a misunderstanding," Ethan tried protesting as they shoved him into the van. But the men ignored his pleas, blindfolding and binding him before peeling off.

Well crap, this was not part of the plan, Ethan thought, panicking as he bounced around in the speeding van. He had just meant to stage a minor harmless kidnapping, not land in the clutches of real hardened abductors!

After a harrowing ride, Ethan was hauled into a secure facility and thrown into a cell. The guards sneered, promising painful experiments would begin soon on their lab rat.

Ethan shuddered, his bravado gone. He couldn't die, but torture wasn't exactly a fun time either. Curling up pathetically on the cold floor, he berated himself for being so monumentally stupid. Some genius plan this had turned out to be!

Meanwhile, Tony was finally wrapping up his endless meetings when JARVIS alerted him to Ethan's actual distress signal coming from a remote bunker.

"What the hell? Is this another of his juvenile pranks?" Tony grumbled. But protocol dictated he still had to check it out. Sighing heavily, he deployed to the location in his Iron Man suit.

Touching down outside the ominous complex, Tony scanned cautiously for heat signatures. To his shock, the readout confirmed real hostiles inside...along with someone with Ethan's biometrics.

"Son of a...the kid actually got himself grabbed by bad guys this time," Tony groaned. He debated leaving Ethan to learn this lesson about crying wolf with fake kidnappings. But parental concern won out.

"Alright you clowns, let my idiot son go and maybe I won't fry you all," he announced loudly, blasting open the bunker door. Alarms immediately blared as armed thugs swarmed.

"Yeah, we're doing this the hard way," Tony muttered, unleashing his arsenal on the kidnappers. But there were so many, and he couldn't find Ethan's holding cell.

"Sir, Ms. Maximoff is inbound," JARVIS informed Tony. "I took the liberty of briefing her on the situation." 

"Wonderful," Tony grunted sarcastically, now having to play nice with his least favorite person while rescuing his trouble-magnet son. Could this get any better?

But he had to admit, having the Scarlet Witch as backup certainly gave them an edge. She ripped through Ethan's captors like tissue paper, fueled by rage and desperation to save her boyfriend.

Between repulsor blasts and magic, they decimated the complex until finally stumbling upon Ethan's cell. Wanda immediately crushed the heavy door like aluminum foil with her powers.

"Ethan!" she cried, rushing to embrace a dazed but very relieved Ethan. "Are you hurt?" She frantically checked him over.

"I'm okay, babe, thanks to you and Dad," Ethan said, shooting a grateful look at Tony over her shoulder. Tony awkwardly shuffled his feet.

"Yeah well, don't ever pull this stunt again or my ass is leaving you here next time," Tony grumbled, but pulled Ethan into a quick, gruff hug. "Now let's blow this popsicle stand."

Once safely back at the compound, Tony and Wanda rounded furiously on Ethan for answers. "What the hell were you thinking pulling such a stupid, dangerous stunt?" they yelled in unison.

Ethan held up his hands placatingly. "I swear I was just trying to get you two working together! I didn't mean to actually get nabbed."

Tony face-palmed while Wanda groaned dramatically. Only Ethan could devise such a harebrained scheme with the best intentions and still end up actually kidnapped. It was a wonder the kid was still alive.

But looking at each other over Ethan's shoulder, Wanda and Tony had to admit it had worked. They did make an unexpectedly great rescue team.

"While I question your methods, I appreciate you trying to bring us together, son," Tony finally said, clapping Ethan on the back. "Your old man just wants you to be happy."

"And I know you're only hard on Ethan because you care," Wanda added begrudgingly. "But I care about him too, so let's try and find some common ground?"

Tony nodded, surprised to realize he no longer harbored quite so much animosity towards the protective witch. "Truce accepted," he agreed, shaking Wanda's hand. "Heaven knows we both have our hands full keeping this one in line."

Ethan's face lit up seeing his two favorite people finally bonding, even if it had taken a real near-death experience to get there.

"You guys are the best! We're gonna be one big happy, mildly dysfunctional family," he cheered, pulling them both into an enthusiastic hug.

Tony and Wanda just chuckled, rolling their eyes fondly. The road ahead was sure to be a bumpy one with Ethan in the mix. But for him, they were willing to figure it out together.

After all, neither could deny their kid had a big heart under all those harebrained ideas. And at the end of the day, keeping Ethan safe and happy was a priority they certainly had in common.