Wanda/Elizabeth One-Shots

Stoned at the Meeting (W.M)

The Avengers were all gathered around the large table on the top floor of Stark Tower for their weekly meeting. Tony stood at the front, ready to brief the team on the latest intel.

"Alright, let's get started," Tony said. "I want to review last week's mission results and-"

Just then, the elevator doors opened and Ethan stumbled in, 15 minutes late. "Sorry, sorry I'm late," he mumbled, plopping down in the seat next to Wanda.

She looked over and immediately could tell something was off. His eyes were bloodshot and he had a dopey grin on his face.

"Ethan!" she whispered harshly. "Are you high right now??"

"What? Pshh, nooo," Ethan said, laughing nervously. "I'm perfectly f-fine."

Wanda covered her face with her hand. "I can't believe you got stoned right before an Avengers mission briefing!" she whispered angrily. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that these meetings are so boring it should be considered a form of torture," Ethan snickered.

Wanda tried to hide her amusement. "You're going to get us both in so much trouble! Just try to act normal."

Tony cleared his throat. "Now that Mr. Fashionably Late has joined us, let's continue. Ethan, since you missed the first part, why don't you summarize the mission status updates for us?"

"Uhhh..." Ethan's bloodshot eyes widened. "The mission...right. The mission status is...good? No, great! We're doing great, everything's great." He gave a dopey thumbs up.

The other Avengers glanced around in confusion. Steve spoke up "That's...not actually what we discussed. Is everything okay, Ethan?"

Wanda jumped in quickly. "Oh he's fine, just didn't sleep well last night! You know Ethan, always working late in the lab on his projects. He gets a little loopy when he's tired, right babe?" She gave Ethan's arm a warning squeeze.

"Huh? Oh yeah, totally! I'm just exhausted, that's all." Ethan faked an exaggerated yawn. "These science projects just have me bushed."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Riiight. Well, if you're too 'tired' to participate, maybe you should turn in early."

Sweat beaded on Ethan's forehead as he realized all eyes were on him. "What? No no, I'm good! Just need some coffee or something." He grabbed the coffee mug in front of him and went to take a sip before Wanda smacked it out of his hand.

"That's Bruce's tea, you goof!" she said with a tense smile. She whispered to Ethan through gritted teeth, "Get it together!"

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Clearly something's up with you today. Wanda, why don't you take him back to his room so he can sleep it off."

"No, Dad, really I'm fine!" Ethan insisted. "I want to stay for the meeting! I promise I'll pay attention."

Wanda tried to steer Ethan up from his seat. "Come on babe, let's just relax in your room. I'll make you some coffee and breakfast."

But Ethan stayed firmly planted. "I'm not going anywhere! This meeting is too important. Isn't that right, Cap?" He turned towards Steve with a dopey grin. "What's the mission status again?"

Steve looked bemused. "Son, did you take something you shouldn't have?"

Ethan's face turned red. "What? No way, I would never!" He fanned himself rapidly. "Is it hot in here or is it just me? Wow, I sure am thirsty!"

He grabbed a glass of water and chugged it rapidly, spilling half of it down his shirt in the process. Wanda buried her head in her hands, utterly mortified.

Clint crossed his arms sternly. "Yeah, he's definitely high as a kite right now. I know the signs from my college days. Wanda, what gives? Can't you keep your man in check?"

Wanda laughed nervously. "What? No, Ethan would never do drugs before a mission briefing! He just didn't sleep well and gets a little loopy and confused when tired. Isn't that right baby?"

She squeezed Ethan's knee sharply under the table. He yelped loudly, "Yowch! Uh I mean, yeah totally. No weed here! I'm just exhausted, that's all."

Tony sighed loudly. "Son, enough with the BS. You're clearly high and need to sleep this off. Now go back to your room before you embarrass yourself, and all of us, any further."

Ethan stared down at the table, properly chastised. "Sorry Dad, you're right. I wasn't thinking clearly."

He stood up unsteadily. Wanda helped support him as they made their way towards the elevator.

But suddenly Ethan stopped and turned back towards the group with a mischievous grin. "You know what though? This was all worth it because...I totally saw Natasha crack a smile! The infamous Black Widow, amused by my antics!"

Natasha instantly resumed a neutral expression. "Absolutely not. Get him out of here," she said to Wanda.

Wanda tugged Ethan into the elevator as he shouted "I knew it! You love me, Nat!"

The doors finally closed and Wanda smacked Ethan's arm. "You are in so much trouble! I can't believe you got stoned right before an Avengers mission briefing."

Ethan just giggled. "Oh come on, admit it - that was pretty damn funny."

Wanda tried to look disapproving, but a smile crept onto her face. "I have to admit, seeing the great Black Widow smile was pretty priceless."

They both laughed as Wanda helped Ethan back to his room. He immediately flopped onto the bed and started snoring loudly.

Wanda just shook her head and smiled affectionately at her ridiculous boyfriend as she tucked him in. He may be an irresponsible goofball, but he was her irresponsible goofball. She left a glass of water and some aspirin next to the bed for the inevitable headache he'd have when he woke up.

Hopefully next time he'd think twice before showing up stoned to an Avengers mission briefing. But she had a feeling their lives together would never be boring with this disaster of a Stark for a boyfriend.