Wanda/Elizabeth One-Shots

Bait (W.M)

"Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into," Tony Stark grumbled, blasting away fruitlessly at the shimmering forcefield trapping the Avengers in the underground bunker.

"Hey, don't look at me! Magneto's the one who lured us down here into a damn trap," Steve Rogers retorted.

The team had responded to an alert that the mutant anarchist Magneto was plotting an attack, only to end up sealed in this metal deathtrap bunker deep below the city. And Magneto had blocked all signals, so no one knew they were trapped.

"I hate cramped spaces!" Clint Barton groaned from his perch atop a storage crate where he had climbed to avoid feeling trapped.

Natasha Romanoff rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Relax, we've escaped far worse than this." But even she was starting to pace like a caged tiger.

Sam Wilson sighed, leaning against the vibranium wall that was impervious even to his laser wings' blasts. "Man, that metal maniac's got us good this time. Anyone have any bright ideas before I lose my mind down here?"

"Ooh ooh, I know!" Ethan Stark suddenly piped up, waving his hand eagerly like a kid in class. "I can be the bait!"

Instantly, everyone responded "NO!" in unison.

"Absolutely not, we are not intentionally putting you in harm's way," Steve said sternly.

"Aww come on, we need a distraction if we're ever gonna get outta this sardine can!" Ethan whined. "I can take it!"

"Yeah, because you're an idiot with zero sense of self-preservation," Bucky grumbled.

"Bait is not happening. We'll find another way," Tony declared firmly. But the hours dragged on with no progress in disabling the bunker's impenetrable security systems.

Finally Sam threw his hands up in frustration. "Well if no one else is gonna say it, maybe we should take Stark up on his offer," he said. "At least he can actually, you know, survive being skewered by Magneto's rebar spears!"

"I don't need my boyfriend being made into a human pin-cushion, thank you!" Wanda snapped, sparks flying from her fingers.

"Whoa whoa, let's all just take a breath here," Steve intervened before tensions could escalate further. "Ethan does raise a valid point about his abilities, but Wanda's right, we can't assume that makes it ethical to use him as live bait."

"Exactly, we're the good guys, not monsters," Bucky said supportively, giving Wanda's shoulder a comforting squeeze. She gave him a small grateful smile.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh god, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but...Wilson may be onto something. If we could lure Magneto into thinking he's captured the Avenger most likely to actually die and come out guns blazing..."

"Then we turn the ambush around on him from hiding," Natasha finished with a nod.

"Whoa whoa, back up here!" Wanda shouted. "You can't seriously be considering handing Ethan over to a madman like meat to a grinder!"

"No one's handing me over!" Ethan interjected. "It'll be my choice to play possum and catch Mags off guard. Come on babe, you know I can handle it!"

Wanda fumed, outraged that they would even entertain the idea. But Steve laid a hand gently on her shoulder, halting her furious protests.

"Wanda, I know it's an almost unthinkable risk," he said solemnly. "But I fear we're out of options. You have my word though, at the first sign Ethan is in real mortal danger, we move in."

The rest of the team nodded gravely. Swallowing the knot of dread in her throat, Wanda finally assented. "If he dies, I kill you all," she threatened dead serious.

They spent the next hour hashing out details of their morally ambiguous plan while trying to psych themselves up. Finally, everything was in place. The team hid themselves while Ethan positioned himself alone in the center of the bunker, doing his best to look like an exposed, vulnerable target.

Right on cue, the forcefield flickered off. In floated Magneto, cackling triumphantly as he ensnared Ethan in coils of thick piping. "I knew you so-called heroes had a weakness!" he sneered, getting right in Ethan's face. "Let's see if you bleed like one."

With sadistic glee, he sent a razor-sharp rod of rebar careening straight towards Ethan's heart like a javelin. It pierced through the armor plating with a sick squelch. Ethan choked, blood bubbling from his mouth for dramatic effect.

"Pathetic," Magneto scoffed. "Farewell, Avenger." He pressed the metal spike deeper through Ethan's chest, clearly expecting imminent death.

Instead, Ethan's wound rapidly knit itself back together before Magneto's astonished eyes. In the blink of an eye, Ethan burst free from the restraints and blasted Magneto head over heels with a repulsor ray.

"Surprise, asshole!" he quipped. "Who's pathetic now?"

That was the cue for the rest of the team to emerge weapons hot. Caught off guard, Magneto didn't stand a chance against their collective assault. Within minutes, he was restrained unconscious on the floor.

"Well, I'd say we make a pretty great team," Sam gloated, nudging Ethan's shoulder.

Wanda just shoved past them and threw her arms around Ethan, holding him fiercely tight. "Don't you ever scare me like that again," she choked out.

Ethan hugged her back just as hard. "I'm sorry I worried you babe. But it all worked out, just like we planned," he said gently. "I'll always come back to you, no matter what."

Wanda nodded into his shoulder, emotions still too raw for words. She was relieved beyond measure to have him safe in her arms again, but her heart couldn't take seeing Ethan in harm's way like that too often. There had to be another solution next time.

Once they finally reemerged into daylight and turned Magneto over to the proper authorities, Tony clapped his son proudly on the back.

"Gotta hand it to you Ethan, your little stunt actually worked," he conceded. "Quick thinking on your feet, using your abilities like that."

"All in a day's work for an Avenger!" Ethan replied, puffing out his chest comically.

Steve shook his head wryly. "Still, let's try to avoid using teammates as human bait unless absolutely necessary. We're not barbarians."

"Yeah, no more kebab-ing the immortal, please," Ethan agreed. "I think Wanda's still mad at me for tearing my shirt."

Wanda swatted his arm, but a reluctant smile crossed her face. "Just remind me to bring my knitting needles next time you plan on taking a metal rod to the chest."

"Yes dear," Ethan chuckled, kissing her cheek. Relieved as he was that they had escaped in one piece, he had zero desire to repeat the nerve-wracking plan anytime soon.

Of course, Magneto wasn't their only villainous foe eager to creatively tear apart Earth's Mightiest Heroes by any means necessary. So it was really only a matter of weeks before the team ended up yet again in some catastrophic bind that threatened certain death and/or dismemberment.

"Well team, any ideas for getting out of this mess that don't involve mortally wounding me?" Ethan asked half-jokingly. "I promise to do my best Jesus rising from the grave impression again if absolutely needed."

An exasperated groan went up from his teammates, followed by some lighthearted bickering about their least awful options. And so it went on their wacky superhero adventure rollercoaster.

No matter the mortal scrapes the Avengers found themselves in, one thing was for certain - they would face it together, nobody left hanging as human skewered kebab. Well, except maybe Ethan sometimes. But hey, that's what super healing abilities are for!