chris sturniolo imagines!!

falling

"what if im down? what if im out? what if im someone i dont want around? im falling again im falling again im falling." -harry styles, falling

in which you write letters to chris after making the worst mistake of your life.

tw//slight mentions of drinking!
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your hangovers were never this bad. you were never in any emotional pain, only a headache or stomach ache here and there. but today, it seems like your heart was ripped out in front of you. you struggle to remember everything, only getting bits and pieces here and there.

party. chris. peer pressure. drunk. flirt. yell. argue. break up.

you sigh and sit up, wincing at the pressure in your head. you take some medicine someone had left on your nightstand with some water. you assume it was chris- he was the only one in your house. but your head is pounding too hard for you to even care.

after another couple minutes of laying, you check your phone. shocked is an understatement when you see all the messages from nick and matt. they're trusting people, so when they're angry at you- you know it's bad.

you send chris a quick "hey" text, but the message turns green, meaning he's blocked you.

you go back and forth with your thoughts, trying to decide how desperate sending him a letter would be. you had some stuff you needed to say, so if he wasn't going to let you text him, then you had no other option.

you walk into your office and grab a couple pieces of paper and an orange pen, sitting down at your desk and throwing your already messy hair into a messier bun.

you try to start, but nothing comes out.

dear chris,

hey! you blocked me and i wanted to talk to you.

you groan loudly and crumple up the piece of paper, throwing it across the room so it's lying on the floor.

you start again.

chris,

im sorry. i didn't mean to.

"what the fuck even is that?!" you say angrily to yourself, crumpling up yet another piece and throwing it by the first mistake.

you sigh and take a deep breath, hoping that third time would be the charm.

chris,

i wish i could blame you for being the reason im in my bed and you're not, but i have absolutely NO ONE to blame but that drink and my wandering hands. i know we argued last night, but please forget what i said. it's not what i meant and you know it. i should've never given into that peer pressure, and i definitely should've never gotten all flirty with whoever that guy was. i know you have no reason to believe me, but it's true. i was so drunk i don't even remember who it was. all i remember is the arguments. in my head, i won against you. but given that you're not here now, i know that's not true. i can't take it back, but i wish nothing more than that i could. i mean, im no one without you. what happens when im someone even I don't want around? it feels like im falling, and i know this feeling all too well. it's killing me because i know that i ran out of things to say. im so sorry, chris. i feel like i know that you'll never need me again, and im the only person to blame for that.

please come back and we can talk about this

y/n
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a/n- it's chrissy!!

i love falling ong

i hope you guys enjoyed!!!

xx
chrissy