Beyond The Gaze: A Love Unseen

Chapter 35

Past - 17

Elysia's POV:

"What is love?" I mumbled, tracing the words written in the book. Flipping the page, I lay on my stomach on the bed, reading the next verses.

"Love is when your eyes search everywhere, hoping to catch just a glimpse of them. Love is when you see a smile gracing their lips, and your heart blooms like a flower. Yet, when you witness their sadness, you feel your heart being painfully squeezed within your chest. Love is when a simple glance from them brightens your day. Love is when their happiness becomes more important than your own. Love is when you remove the thorns from their path, so they never have to tread upon them," I read the passage, my eyebrows furrowing as Ares' image suddenly flashed before me.

Love...?

Why did Ares come to my mind?

Was I... in love with him in that way?!!

My eyes widened in realization. I sat up abruptly on the bed and grabbed my diary that Sven had returned to me the earlier day. Flipping through the pages, I reread all my memories with Ares, revisiting the feelings I had noted down there.

How could it be?

I thought, I... I...

Since when?

I picked up the flower he had given me, and your first encounter flashed before my eyes... His light brown eyes, his hand stroking my head, his gentle smile, and his kind words.

A gasp escaped my lips as the flower slipped from my hand, falling on the bed. My hand flew to my parted lips.

"Since the very first time I met him..." I whispered, just realizing for the first time that my feelings for him weren't mere admiration; it was love.

How could I?!

I retreated my hands, grabbed my blanket, and draped it over myself, hiding underneath it while taking deep breaths.

It scared me...

My own feelings for him frightened me to the point where I feared myself and where this newfound love might lead me...

Do I deserve him?

Can someone like me even contemplate having feelings for someone like him?

Am I worthy of love?

I shook my head vigorously, repeating the words Dr. Smith had advised me in one of our therapy sessions, to stay positive, to think positive, and expect good. With a determined sigh, I forced myself out of bed and walked towards my bedroom window.

Pulling the curtains aside, I opened the window, feeling the cool night air against my skin. I retrieved a shawl from my wardrobe and made room to sit by the window, gazing at the dark night sky.

Soft moonlight spilled into my room, casting a soothing glow. I picked up my phone and opened the hidden folder in my gallery, staring at the only picture I had of him.

I didn't understand what had come over me today, but when I saw him asleep beside me, I couldn't look away. It was the first time I had seen him up so close. It was a beautiful sight; his eyes, which had always seemed like pools of warm, liquid caramel to me, were now closed. His long, dark lashes cast a gentle shadow over his cheeks. His finely sculpted and straight nose and those full lips with a subtle, natural curve were like a magnet for my eyes. Beneath his strong jawline, a hint of a five o'clock shadow gave him an alluring ruggedness. Everything about Ares Simon Knight was my favorite. When my gaze fell upon his dark brown hair falling onto his forehead, I wished for nothing more than to brush it aside and stare at him all day. But I didn't dare move my hands, afraid he might wake up and the magic of that moment would disappear.