Married to Miss Temperamental

Chapter 32

"Dasha have cancer Becky.  She only have one month to live."

Becky's face contorted as she heard the sudden revelation. Her heart shattered, her vision becomes blurry as the words roll of out Freen's tongue. She expected Freen to deny all her what if's, her question, her lingering assumptions that maybe Dasha is the reason why Freen always come home late, but what she heard is enough to rip her world about. It was enough to wreck her world apart. The cycle was repeated again, in a reckoning manner,  and she's always the one who understands Freen when in fact all Freen do is hide things from her.

"You know Freen..." She started. "Maybe we should just get a breather for now. For our peace of mind, for the peace of our hearts, and for the peace of everyone."

Freen's eyes water, she don't wanna lose Becky she just won her back, now she's losing her again. And it's because of her lapses. " W-what are you talking about?" She reached for Becky's hand, but the latter step back.

"You know what I mean Freen... " Becky retorted wiping the tears on her eyes. " Maybe we should think things through, what we really wanted, who we really wanted, why we wanted this and why we don't want that. Let's rethink Freen, let's rethink and learn if being with each other is what we really wanted." Despite the aching of her heart, Becky let the words roll out of her tongue, the poisonous venom of the words stabbed Freen's chest a thousand times harder.

"I wanted to be with you Becky! Only you!" She pleaded as she fall on her knees hugging Becky's legs. "There's no one else I wanted to be with aside from anyone now Bec. Baby please don't leave me." She pleaded, her eyes are bloodshot red as she met Becca's gaze. She was biting her lower lip, she tried so hard not to give in and scoop Freen in her arms right there and then cause she hates it when she's crying. But she can't, not now.

"Freen... As you said Dasha is sick, she needs you. God knows how that woman want to separate us and now this, I don't even know if she's really sick or it's just a ploy—"

"Your saying she's faking her illness?" She asked, voice slightly raised.

"Everyone would think that Freen, she was that obsess ex who would trade anything to take you back, even if it means breaking someone else."

"Becky! Your impossible!"

"I'm way far from being impossible Freen! I am stating facts! My feelings are valid and so are my words, I can feel whatever I am feeling right now cause this is me and you can't change my perspective about her. Can't you see it? I am the wife but I am the one pleading for your time, I am the one seeking for your attention, I am the one sharing what's supposed to be all for me! I am your wife Freen but yet I feel like losing already by you going to her back and forth! Everytime! Every night! And me? I was there waiting at the dark lonely roads under the rain hugging her knees from the cold, I was there excitedly waiting for her wife show up and celebrate her birthday together only to be welcomed by a tired wife. A wife I feel like I borrowed from someone else."

Nam's kitchen were full of screams, of rage and unaddressed anger that the couple hasn't opened yet. Nam put on her earphones to conceal the sound of fights inside her roof but her volume is not max enough to cover up the faint sobs downstairs. She can't bear seeing this two fighting, but right now all she can do is let them figure things out themselves without killing each other.

" Maybe from the beginning Freen we were just lessons both of us have to learn, we were just passing vehicles of learnings that will broaden and widen our perspective of what love should look like, of what love should feel like,  and right now I feel like we're drifting off that one page we use to step into when you started taking steps away... I was left alone, I was kept in the dark when you stride a distance from me. " Becky's voice cracked, a choke sob  came out of her mouth as she wipe her cheeks with the back of her hand. " I know we are on the same page Freen, but not in the same level."

"Bec—"

"I need the love that I deserve Freen, one with imperfections but both of us will work together to make it perfect, one who is not the best but we'll make it better, one that is... One that does not take the other person for granted." Becky stood up neglecting the food Nam prepared for her... She lost her appetite already.

Freen was devastated, she don't know what to do, she know she messed up so bad, she know this time she's in the middle of losing her wife, and that's the least she wanted now.

Becky is her lifeline.

Her armour.

Her rock.

Her everything.

Becky walked out of the table but before she could take any step further, Freen held her wrist intertwining their fingers together as she planted a soft kiss on Becky's white knuckles.

"Baby ... Please don't leave me na ka? Please? Becky... I can't live without you! Bec! Please." She pleaded clutching her chest, her breathing started becoming quick and fast. " Please Becky... I love you. Babe, i'm sorry. Please na. "

Becky's tears rapidly fell, she can't see Freen like this, it clenches her heart.

"Please don't leave."

Becky sighed composing herself as she held Freen's hand away. " I'll be back on my condo unit Freen, you take care of the house."

Panic rush  over Freen's face. " No Bec! No! You can't live! You can't baby please!" She cried even harder, her knees must have hurt from all the kneeling so Becky pulled her up.  "I love you babe... I love you with every bits of me, I don't love Dasha anymore... I love you. Only you Becky. Please don't get a divorce... Please don't leave me."

Becky choke on her sob. She wasn't getting a divorce, she just need space for herself, breath space and take a break. Because this is too much for her, it's consuming all of her.

She kneel in front of Freen cupping her cheeks as she run it with her thumb."I love you, I love you so much." She whispered.

Becky smiled.

She knew Freen love her. She do.

"If you love me Freen..." She started. " Please let me go."