Married to Miss Temperamental

Chapter 44

: I just want to clarify to everyone that I also make mistakes in this story, i'm not a professional writer, I may or may not put mistakes on it but i'm trying my best to do it better.  Please bear with me.

//

The amount of tears that is shred in that moment were palpable. Freen has been holding Becky's hand along the way to the hospital, her tears never stopped streaming, she was shaking vulnerably as she watch how her wife lay unconscious on that very stretcher.

Her heart was pounding so fast, her thoughts fly over things that she knows she can't be thinking, her body reacts with fragility as her wife was lifted from the stretcher to the hospital bed.

Freen cried so hard, her hand  stopping the blood from flowing out her wife's body but she can't stop it. It flows and flows. " Please! Please Doctor! Please save my wife! Please!" The doctor held Freen's shoulder, she was held outside the emergency room to prevent her from going further.

"Ma'am we want you to calm down for now. We will try to do everything we can just to save your wife. Please calm down and stay here." The doctor coaxed.

Freen shook her head bawling her eyes out at the sight of her unconscious wife lying down at that scary bed in the emergency room. "Please! Please save her!" She fell on her knees hugging it closer towards her legs. After a few minutes, Becca's parents arrived rushing towards Freen's direction wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Mom! Mom Becky! I didn't save her! I couldn't save her mom! " She sobbed in her in-law's chest.  Becky's mom couldn't do anything but to calm down, Freen and Becky needed her and if she herself also go paranoid, no one would be sane to think about how to handle this situation.

"Shh! She will be fine baby! She is a fighter! She won't easily give up." She assured but deep down inside her she also know this operation might not go well with the amount of blood Becca lost. But she have to hold into hope, she can't think that way. She can't.

"Mom! I saw Mrs. Taran! I saw her before that happened! I was too late to run over Becky and save her I was too late to warn her."

"Freen! You did your best! You were there, you saved your wife but she also saved you back. Don't blame yourself Freen, please don't."  She pleaded as tears stream her porcelain cheeks.

Freen's knees languish. She can feel br body weaken at what is happening. She wished it was her lying in the hospital bed, she wish it was her instead of Becky, Becky is such an angel, and she can't lose her today. Not ever.

"FREEN! BECKY!" Nam's voice eluded in the hallways as she sprint her way towards the mother and the daughter in-law knees touching the floor as they engulped each other in a tight hug.

"Nam! I couldn't save her! It's my fault! I-i didn't do anything to save her! I didn't!" Nam bend down to hug her sobbing friend, her face buried at nam's chest as she rub her back repeatedly so provide comfort to the latter.

"Freen please. Please don't blame yourself, we didn't know it would happen."

"But I did! I know something's gonna happen, I should have trusted my guts! I should have—"

"Enough Freen! What we can do now is be here for Becky! Mrs. Taran is already at the police station with Becca's father. For now all we can do is focus on Becky's well being." Nam replied.

Freen's thoughts have raging words of unspoken depths inside. She cannot fathom the feeling of fear she felt. She cannot shake the feeling of uneasiness knowing that her wife if battling for her life inside that very room.  There is indeed a few things in life  that are scarier than the thought of losing a loved one. On some level, most of us realize that everything comes to an end. We usually do our best not to think about it. And Freen's don't want it to be their ending. She cannot lose Becky. Not after this.

Back before Freen hasn't invest feelings for Becky yet she told herself she would invest her heart to anyone.  She don’t expect anything much from them except the fact that they don’t leave without notice or a genuine reason. This is another reason she don’t get too close to someone  because she’ve seen the consequences of investing so much time to build a relationship/friendship with someone and then one day that someone leaves you like you were nothing but a doormat to them.

We fear losing people because we’re afraid that after losing them, we shall lose ourselves too. She had been afraid of losing people she love because sometimes she would wonder if there was someone who would be afraid to lose her too. Someone who would be afraid to let her go, and she saw that in Becky. That love, those assurance, those soft small touches, those sparkly eyes, she don't wanna lost it she don't wanna trade it for something else.

When you fear losing someone or something, you lose yourself for it & that is again because you love that someone or something so much that it matters to you more than yourself.
The more you enquire into the“Why?”, the more you would realize that it is simply because that person or thing gave you some sense of peace, some sense of joy, some sense of meaning which you were otherwise unable to discover within.

And Becky is Freen's everything.

Her home.

Her peace.

Her comfort.

Her pillar.

Her world.

And she can't watch the world she painted shatter by the fantasy of anyone else. She dreamt of marrying Becky, she dreamt of building a family with her. And she can't do that if one of them gives up.

Freen's ragid breathing slowed down by the help of her best friend and her mother's presence. She sought comfort that only Becky could give, but for now she is the comfort Becky needed. " P'FREEN! P'FREEN! WHERE'S BECKY! PHI!"Irin inquired, her voice cracking as she approach the figures in front of her. But before the three could answer, nurses and doctors rushed over the emergency room petrifying Freen, her nervousness intensified.

"H-hey! What's going on? Anyone?" Her mother inquired.

"What's happen please tell me! What's happening inside!" She pleaded, her hands digging on one of the nurses arms, her eyes conveyed pain and agony.  The nurse look surprise, her lips quiver in bitterness afraid to cause any pain to the other, but Freen's eyes were pulling her, she saw pity, and she can't help but give Freen the disclose information.

"We lost her pulse..."