More Than I Should... (Fp x OC)

Through the Night

In which she's afraid...

It's been another couple of days and the pain in my chest has slowly been going away, instead replaced with an empty feeling that came with the news that it wasn't a robbery, that I'd been targeted for some reason. The pain went away, but the dreams were still here, ever since that day I haven't just been dreaming of the Black Hood, my mind likes to take me to other dark memories from the past. The one it likes to show me the most is when I was raped, I think I'm going crazy.

I reverted to the version of me that can't sleep without a light on or someone in the bed next to me so I know nothing can get me. It's like I'm a kid again, afraid of the dark. I used to shove myself to the bottom of my covers and curl into a ball to sleep. It got so bad one time that I almost suffocated myself in a pillow. Luckily, my mother had come to check on me, wondering about the lack of screams from my night terrors. She'd found me half-dead in a ball at the foot of my bed, a heap of blankets piled over me to protect me from the monster I'd created in my head.

Eventually, I'd developed insomnia out of fear of this episode happening again, and the dreams that accompanied my night terrors. I was ten and avoiding sleep as if it were the plague. My parents didn't realize until my teachers reached out to them about my grades having dropped. They weren't around enough to see what was going on and nobody else cared enough to pay attention to the dark circles under my eyes and the haunted look I had about me.

I'd never really had any problems with sleep after that, I'd been prescribed medication for sleep for a while until I kind of grew out of my night terrors and my fear of the dark and could sleep easier. But that's the problem with traumatic experiences, they bring out past demons, ones you thought had been exercised. They never really leave, do they?

Every time the room is quiet, or empty, I slowly slip into this state of paralyzing anxiety. I don't know what's wrong with me but the second I'm able, I really need to go back onto my medication. Luckily, the room is hardly ever empty and I'll be damned if this place ever gets quiet. What, with all the visitors I get. Archie had informed me that the whole student body knew about my being pregnant, but that I'm one of the few people in school who can do virtually no wrong. People have told me that I could kill someone and they'd still love me.

Rather ridiculous, but it makes me feel better to know that people think I'm a good person. And that so many people would stick with me no matter what. I'm being released tomorrow and I think I'm going to stay with Archie for a while. It'll be a bit hard being so close to the people who call themselves my family, but I think I can manage. Fred was released a few days ago, he'd woken up a bit earlier than I did and was cleared to go home earlier than I was.

After a couple of days of bed rest at Archie's house, I should be good to start going to school again if I choose to. I think it'll be a nice distraction.

Now all I have to do is get through tonight.