47. Understanding ✨️

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(Hiiii🥺✨️💗 how are you? I hope the bestest you can 🫂✨️ we are three chapters from the end 🥹 it feels far and yet so close, I hope to be able to close their story as prettily as I can🥰 wishing you a good reading ✨️ take care 💗 love you 💗)



Vegas was looking at Kinn with, for the first time of his life, a small amount of pity. He never thought that he was able to even have the slightest positive feeling towards his cousin but it seemed to have changed. 

“Where did you find this?” Kinn asked, the letter in his hands burning him. 

“It was in Gun’s locked room, where he kept everything important.” 

“Vegas, are we as disgusting as those men?” 

Vegas stared at him, weirded, Kinn acting as if they were the same or even as if they could share a normal conversation, this was new. The only idea they agreed on is to not use the word “father” anymore to talk about Gun or Korn. Too much happened, way too much for them to feel comfortable with it. 

“I guess that we might have been but they killed each other before it happened, or we might be like them and what I said is an utopia we think about.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I never said that I would be of any help.” He smirked before walking away from Kinn’s office. 

The boy looks at the letter. He didn’t know what to confess to Porsche first, what he did with the loaners or the fact that he had in his hands a letter from the boy’s mother. He couldn’t read it, not at all. He felt that this was more important, in a way, he could give the letter and it wouldn't look like he was apologising with it, he was overthinking it all. 

Kinn never had been scared to lose someone like this, even Tawan, even for him it wasn’t like this. Because of him he had tasted the flavour of betrayal and he had lost hope in it, but now that he found it again, he wouldn’t stand to lose it. 

He had no choices, if Porsche had made him develop one thought in his life, it was that his own ego, his own voice weren’t enough anymore to love someone. He needed comprehension and communication. He couldn’t back down anymore.


“To my children Porsche and Porchay,

Boys, mom is sorry, mom is sorry to not be able to hug you now. Mom is sorry to not be able to draw again with you, to kiss your forehead, to tell you that I love you. I am so sorry for my precious children. Know that I will always be above you, I will always protect you. How is my strongest little one? Porsche, my admirable big brother. My sweetest little one, my oldest baby. I hope that life isn’t that hard and that it won't be too hard in the future. I hope that whoever is taking care of you two is doing it well, I hope that life will welcome you more kindly than it did before. I am sorry Porsche that I can’t be here, I am sorry that you are now mostly the only one to protect Porchay, our Chay, our smallest one, our cutest little boy. I am sorry that I can’t even be here for your first steps in life, that I can’t take both of your hands walking home after school. I am so sorry that it turned out that way. I have a crazy family, it has to be said, and I will never regret anything, not you , not your father, I am just feeling guilty that my existence is putting yours and your dad’s one in danger. 

I can never recover from his death but please take care of each other, please, I am begging you to not let the world have the best of you two. 

I am often witnessing from the window of my tower my not biological nephews. They look so happy, they play so adorably in the garden and I wonder why this isn’t both you, why this isn’t part of your life… those children did nothing wrong but you also didn’t do anything wrong and I am scared about the logic of this world. 

❤️‍🩹 Punch didn't hurt as much as the one which broke my heart ❤️‍🩹 KIMCHAY AUWhere stories live. Discover now