Dammit I am not in love with you!!!!

Dinner From Hell

I seriously wish that I had listened to my inner voice(not cookie) and stayed in the meadow for the full night. Because this was by far the most awkward and nightmarish dinner I have had to go through.

As soon as we reached Mami's house we saw at least three cars outside. And I could recognise all of them. Shit. Guess who had invited themselves to dinner.

"So I guess it's too late to turn back and run away again? " I was freaking out and Alex was finding this situation hysterical. This guy has a weird sense of humor.

" This is going to be one hell of a dinner. Maybe we can still escape. " And I once again reiterate - fate was a heartless bitch . My mom made her appearance on the porch as soon as I voiced my thoughts. Guess we aren't leaving after all.

" Livvy darling where have you been? Did Ronald not pass on my message? " Is that sweet sounding woman my mother? Because my mother does not talk like that. She basically just orders people around. What the hell is going on here?

" What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you talking that way? "

" I don't understand what you are talking about? I always talk like this. "

" Cut the crap right now. You do not talk to me like that ever. Unless someone is there who you want to impress. Oh now I get it. Who else is here for dinner? " Oh I know who'd come for dinner. The mother freaking moron Ronald." You invited Ronald for dinner. What part of me dating Alex escapes your memory because I clearly remember making out twice in front of you. "

" Livvy it's not what you think... Okay I just want you to give him a chance. "

" Oh my god will you stop interfering in my life you fu....... " Before I could completely curse my own mother (which no doubt would have been intensely satisfying no doubt) Alex stopped me. And get your mind out of the gutter. He didn't kiss me though I would have liked that. He just shut my mouth by covering it with his hand.

"Nice to meet you again Miss Carter. I think we should go in or we'll be late for dinner. " And he dragged me in to the living room. And there was another aneurysm waiting to happen.

My mother not only invited herself and Ronald but also his parents. The Dwight looked mighty uncomfortable while Mami and Papi were trying to diffuse the awkwardness. But unfortunately for them their efforts were wasted. Because the rest of the night spiralled downwards from then on.

All of us were sitting or standing in the living room with little or no idea what each of us were doing here. Alex was sitting with me on the loveseat. Well he was sitting while I was on his lap. Mr and Mrs Dwight were looking at anything but us. Which was hard as they were occupying the sofa in front of us. Ronald on the other hand was standing next to the bay window and staring at me and Alex. Papi was pouring drinks for everybody. Awkward silence reined in the room. Mom and Mami were in the kitchen.

"Is it me or this fucking awkward? " Alex whispered in my ear.

" Tell me about it. I rather face a firing squad rather than dinner tonight. Even though Mami's cooking my favorite tonight. "

" Oh cheer up I am here aren't I? "

" Oh yeah you are a regular Ryan Stiles. "

" Of all the people on 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' you chose Ryan Stiles? "

" Well he does have a lot of jokes made on him. Who would you choose? "

" I would choose Colin Mochrie by that logic. But my favorite is Wayne Brady. "