Dammit I am not in love with you!!!!

How Far Is Gretna Green?

"Why the hell did you not mention this important piece of information before? All this while I've been thinking of reasons why this was happening to me.... And you knew it all along! Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

" I am sorry honey. I would have told you had I known. Even I found out recently after I had the will checked out and confirmed that it was the original and not a fake. "

" This just proved the fact that we have to get serious about this. They are not going to let this go. I mean they just took out a hit on Alex. This no longer concerns only me. We have Seamus to think of too. What are we going to do? And please for once somebody anybody suggest a good solution. "

" From the looks of things and everything we've heard, it's needless to say that the rebellious bride approach is not going to work. I mean they don't care whether you marry Ronald on your own or they bring you to the altar kicking or screaming. "

" Cady is right. We need a new plan. Something easy enough to pull off yet crazy enough to baffle them. "

" And how do we accomplish that Uncle Blaine? It's not like we have all the time in the world to brainstorm. "

" Levi will you for once stop being a negative ninny about everything?"

" It's not being negative. I am being a realist. You heard the old laddy in the tape.... He wants this wedding to happen before the election season starts. And if I am not wrong and I know I'm not... The announcing of candidature is just a month away. Which means Ronald should be married to you by now. "

" Levi has a point. We all know your mother was planning to guilt you into marrying Ronald on the day of the wedding. Hence the confession at the last moment. But she didn't count on Alex being there. And since then, Alex has been a constant thorn at their sides. So much so that they want to kill him just to get rid of him. We don't have any options left now. Either we ship you off to some unknown destination and keep you there for eternity or you get married to Ronald."

" Gee thanks dad! That was really reassuring. Either my boyfriend dies or we spend the rest of our days as the Crusoes or I get married to Ronald. Thanks for putting everything into perspective."

"Actually the Crusoe approach is not a bad idea. I mean my jet is ready and so are our passports and visa applications. All we need is a quick ride to the airport. "

" Alex will you please let go off the idea of you and me on a vacation. This is not the time for that! "

" Oh Alex what's wrong with you? This is not the time for jokes mate. Your life is in danger. Just because Seamus managed to evade Romanoffs doesn't mean you will too. " Adrian tried to caution Alex but my pig headed boyfriend wasn't having it.

" I am not scared of them. All they can do to me is kill me. I'd rather die than watch her get married to someone else. "

" Wow didn't know the bad boy had an overdramatic streak. How very Romeo of you! "

" Shut the fuck up Seamus ! " Alex snarled.

" Boys stop fighting. Nobody is going to die and nobody is getting married. So please the chill the hell out. "

" Actually someone is getting married."

"Dad! This is not the time for jokes."

" Who said I am joking? It's a fact. You are getting married whether you want to or not. All we have to do now is to make sure the groom is right. "

" What? "

" Are you on crack Blaine ? I told you to stay away from Charlie Sheen. " Alex sighed in frustration. If my father was actually friends with Charlie Sheen..... Well that actually explains a lot.

" Uncle Blaine what the fuck are you saying?" For the first time even Levi couldn't catch the drift. And usually him and my father are on the same frequency.

" I think I am going to call Ruby. Maybe she can figure out what nonsense you just spouted. " Cady threatened dad.

Only Seamus and Adrian remained quite. I guess they were both observers of the pandemonium erupting in the hotel room.

" Jeezus will you all calm your tatas and listen? And put the phone down Cady! As I was saying.... I think Livvy was right when she thought that the options we provided were bullshit. Cause lets face it running away is not the solution because Macladden is friends with the Russian Mafia. They'll find them anywhere. Secondly Alex getting killed is.... Well he is irritating but he grows on you! And I rather not lose my business partner right now. Third option- Like Alex said I would die rather than watch my daughter wed that ape. Plus I would hate to see Peggy gloat. And gloat she will. With that expressionless walrus on her arm. That leaves no choice for us. Personally I think Alex's idea of a getaway vacation sounds great. Except it will be a secret marriage and honeymoon. "

" Secret marriage and honeymoon?"

" Yes! You and Alex will elope and get married in a secret ceremony. Then go on a honeymoon. Except none of this will be a secret. We will leak the news to all the major pappos in town and all over the world. This way the old senator and Peggy can't do anything. And they will have to take off the hit. You'll kill two birds with one stone. Once you both are married, Ronald will have to find someone else. "

" This is by far the best solution you have offered in let's say a very long time. Theoretically its sound. But how will we escape from under their noses? And where will we get married? "

" Wow you have no objections to offer? Like nothing at all? Nada? "

" Obviously not dad. I love him. I know we have known each other for a short amount of time and our relationship is fairly recent but you know when you know. And I know he is the one. "

"Awwww my baby! (Sniffs) All grown up and in love! How time flies!" My melodramatic father kissed both my cheeks and hugged me. Then he went to Alex and clasped his hands. "Ready to take our relationship to the next level business partner?"

" Blaine if you don't mind..... You're going to be my father in law. I'd rather hold your daughter's hand than yours. Specially since I have a ring in my pocket and a knee to bend on and ask her to marry me. So excuse me. "

Oh my god he was going to propose. He had a ring. Since when? He came to me, clasped my hand and went down on one knee.

" Lavinia Carter.... Honestly I never thought you'd agree to date me. But you did and despite everything you gave me a chance. You stuck by me when it would have been easier to let go. I absolutely love and adore you. I have from the first time you mistook me for your blind date and shot down my dinner invitation. I was yours the first moment I laid my eyes on you. And like you said - you know when you know. I always knew you were the one. After we started dating and you saw my Grandparents house, I decided to give another family heirloom to you. My grandmother's ring. I've always wanted to see it grace the finger of a worthy woman and no one is as worthy of this ring as you. You are the epitome of grace, beauty, charm, sarcasm and nerdiness combined into one explosive package. And I want this package to belong exclusively to me. So Miss Lavinia Carter will you do me the honour of being my wife and allowing me the privilege of waking upto your face every morning with coffee and kisses? "

Saying so he opened up a royal blue jewellery box to reveal a dark blue sapphire stone ring in a princess cut on platinum with little diamonds surrounding it. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen and the cut and style were old but I loved it. The ring spoke volumes to me. It was his Grandmother's ring and it obviously meant the world to him.

" Oh God yes! Yes yes yes yes... A hundred times yes! I'll marry you! "

" Now all we need is a wedding gown, some witnesses, and a priest. Does Gretna Green still work like it does in the novels? "

" Well Blaine it does. You just need a special marriage license. Its easy enough to obtain. But do you really want her to get married there? All the way in Scotland? " Adrian asked.

" Why not? It's Gretna Green! Countless lovers have eloped and gotten married there. Plus my Great Grandfather was Scottish. I am just upholding the tradition. " Alex remarked.

" Well then it's settled. Everyone pack your bags and get your passports. We've got a wedding to get to. " My dad announced.