Dammit I am not in love with you!!!!

Who Crapped In Your Cereal Mommy?

"LIVVY!" Why do I have to wake up to that god awful screeching so early in the morning? What time is it? And why does my head hurt so much? It feels like a demolition league in my head. "LIVVY!" Enough with the screaming. Its not helping with my headache. Plus I think my stomach is acting weird. I feel like puking. Who the hell is screaming anyway? Where the hell is my phone?

You're probably wondering what the hell is going on right? Gimme five minutes and I will figure it out. First order of business- find my phone. After looking around in the tangled sheets and on the bedside tables, I figured I lost it. Great! Now how will I get back my contacts and information. And also how will I find out the time? Maybe I should visit the bathroom first before my dinner meets my bedroom floor in a nice smelly pile of vomit. Then I'll worry about my phone. As soon as I remove the sheets from my body I realise I am half naked. Why am I in my undergarments? I think I will deal with this observation slightly later. Preferably when my dinner is not coming back up to my throat.

After emptying my stomach in the toilet, I feel marginally better. The headache still persists but at least my stomach has settled down. Time for a clean up. After brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower I can finally focus.

I don't think I feel good enough to face the outside world. So I dress in my most comfortable pyjamas with a loose New York sweatshirt. And there is still someone screaming. Who the hell screams at the top of their voice in the morning? It's so rude! Might as well go down and face the banshee.

As soon as I make my way downstairs, I am met with a very irritated Mami. And I know the reason why she's irritated.

"Morning Mami! Do you have an aspirin? My head is splitting with pain. "

" Morning! I was about to come and wake you up. Go into the kitchen. I'll bring you the aspirin. Have some breakfast. "

" One more thing. Who is this harpy screaming about in the house? "

" That's your mom! And before you ask I have no idea. Go into the kitchen. You'll need that aspirin sooner than later if you have to face her. "

The first thing I notice as soon as I enter the kitchen is Alex nursing a cup of coffee and facing my mother with an exasperated and bleary face. My mother resembles a fire breathing dragon right now. He is glaring at her while she is ranting at him with wildly gesticulating hands and her screaming voice. I don't have the energy to deal with her right now. Why is she picking his brains so early in the morning.

"...... she wasn't like this. But since she's met you she seems to have taken a nosedive. She's become rebellious and questions authority. You are a bad influence on my daughter. And as her mother I feel that you should stay away from her. Lord knows what troubles you will get her into. No I can't let it happen. You will remove yourself immediately from my daughter's presence and have no further contact with her. I cannot let you destroy her future. "

Hold on for a bloody minute. Who the hell gave her the right to decide whether Alex stays or goes from my life. As far as I remember I pretty much declared in the front of the whole world that I had nothing to do with her or Felicity.

" And what makes you think you are the one to decide whether my boyfriend is a good influence on me or not? "

" Not one word out of your mouth young lady! Listen to me. I am your mother and I have your best interests at heart. You will not be involved with this man. "

" Best interests my ass! You think I'll believe that load of bull? Don't give me that Mother of the Year act. I know you and believe me I have no intention of following your orders. So do me a favor and take your screaching self away from me. "

" Lavinia I am your mother! This is not the way you are supposed to talk to me. "

" Oh screw you! " I can only handle this much drama in the morning. And I am not giving up Alex. If she considers this rebellion so be it.

She started bemoaning how she has an ungrateful daughter and how the younger generation doesn't respect their elders. Blah blah blah. I wasn't paying attention to her because I was distracted by Alex's delightfully sexy appearance.

He must have stayed the night because he had droopy eyes and a scruffy jaw. He looked adorably cute in a pair of Papi's pyjamas and a ratty old cotton tee. He looked sleepy and irritated (you know why). But as soon as he noticed me staring he smiled. I made my over to him.

"Good morning babe ! " This is the first time I called him 'Babe'. I gave him a long and very passionate good morning kiss. I just wanted to peck him at first but when I tasted coffee from the kiss, needless to say I was hooked. I love coffee and I also love kissing Alex.

He smiled against my mouth and pecked me one more time before letting me go. " Good morning! If you're going to kiss me like that every morning then I think I better ask your Grandparent's permission to move in here." I wouldn't mind. I would get to kiss him every morning then. It would considerably brighten up my mornings." There's some more coffee in the machine if you want. I saved some for you. "

" Just for that you get another kiss. " I just need an excuse to kiss him. I think we are in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. Everything is sweet and nice. Nothing matters but me and him. We were steadily exploring and finding out something new about each other day by day. And it was exciting.

I totally forgot that Cruella De Ville was still in the kitchen. My mother was so into her little rant that she didn't even notice me and Alex enjoying kisses and coffee (such a nice combination- coffee and kisses). When she chose to focus on us again she saw us kissing. My mother hates it when people ignore her. And we just did.

" Will you stop with the kissing? You are not in high school Lavinia! Please act your age. You seemed to have lost your senses. Everytime I turn around you're kissing him. " And that led to another rant about how I can't seem to act my age and turn into a mushy teenager with every boy ( Seriously?). And also how I have bad taste in men ( says the one who dated three criminals, almost married a conservative Republican and has affairs with younger men).

Thankfully her rant was interrupted by Mami who brought with her the aspirin I had asked for. Thank goodness for small mercies. Now I can face my mother.

" Why are you here? Don't you have your charities' engagements to look after? And while we we're at it what was up with the screaming in the morning? "

" Thank you for reminding me about the real reason I was here. How dare you? How could you do that to me last night? Do you have no shame? How dare you spoil my name and the name of your family? " Now Cruella transformed to an angry red puffer fish. I think she was going to blow up with pent up rage or something. Interesting!

" Who crapped in your cereal this morning? And what are you talking about? I did a lot last night and after that whole bottle of champagne I have very hazy memories of the night. "

" You defied and embarrassed me publicly at my Charity ball. Specially when I had been trying to make amends. "

" You have to be more specific than that. I did a lot last night and most of it would have embarrassed you. Which part are you referring to? "

" I am referring to your entry at my ball! "

Oh she means that. Well she should have known better than to trust me. Maybe she's learnt a lesson now. Don't expect me to follow through with her plans.

You probably don't understand. Well it all started when she showed up yesterday to meet me and ordered me to show up at her Charity ball.