Prelude To the Stars [Jackson Wang AMBW]

Chapter 32: Don't Fall Too Late

Eden's POV:

I gasped for air like my lungs have been deprived of it for days. "Doctor, we have a pulse." The voices started to get farther away. Ugh! Will someone turn that beeping off? I drifted off into nothingness. My heart was numb. Suddenly it was as if my entire body was on fire. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out.

"I will never leave you or forsake you." His voice echoed.

"Help me, Lord! This is too hard! I don't have the strength in me to fight." I cried.

"I never said it would be easy. My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness."

"Is there a way to break the bond?" I asked unsure of myself. Did I really want to do this? Was there any other way?

"Yes."

"Is there another way?" Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

"Yes."

I exhaled in relief. "Ok, what do I have to do?"

A moment passed before I heard His voice again. "Forgive and forget."

Great! The very thing I don't want to do. "I can't do that, God!" I whined. "You saw what he did to me... what he's still doing to me. I'm dying because of him!"

"You're dying, because you're choosing to let unforgiveness poison you to the point of death. You have the power to stop this."

"But he doesn't deserve my forgiveness."

"You didn't deserve My forgiveness either, but I still sent My Son to die for you while you were still a sinner, did I not? I gave you mercy and grace, though you did not deserve it. I forgave your sins and remembered them no more." There was a pause as His words shot conviction through my heart. "If you don't forgive others for their sins against you, I cannot forgive you of your sins against Me."

"Well when you put it like that. I guess I have no choice, but to forgive him."

"I gave you a free will. You'll always have a choice, My child. But there will be consequences to every choice you make."

"Will you help me?" I asked God as I was coming to the end of myself. This is what I need to do to be free. "Help me to completely forgive Jackson and burn away the residue of bitterness and anger and replace it with love. Love covers over a multitude of sins. I understand that now."

Another wave of heat started at the top of my head and traveled down to the soles of my feet. The eyes of my heart were opening, and my mind was filling with revelation. I marveled at the truth. Light illuminated the crevices of my mind, granting me insight and renewal. My heart was being healed and transformed.

I gasped at the newness of it all. Never have I felt so light before. Jackson's words rang through my ears. "It's better if you forgive me and just let me go." And how right he was. It is better to forgive and let go of the past. I was so angry at him, because he wasn't making any sense. One minute he loved me and then the next he was telling me to let him go; this ain't sudoku. But the truth was I was too resentful to hear him out anyway.

Jackson loves me. He wants me, but he doesn't want to come back to me if I'm only going to hold on to the past and remind him of it every second of every day. He's seen what that did to me when Andy was involved. I don't want to go through that again. And he... he was just protecting me. He even tried to warn me, but I hit him.

"Oh God, please forgive me for acting out of my emotions. I was wrong. I was so wrong!"

"You are forgiven, My child!"

I smiled a genuine smile. It felt good. I haven't smiled like that in years. I opened up my mind. "Jackson... I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can... if you can hear me I just want you to know that I love you and I forgive you. I've let go of the past, and I... I want us to start over. We have a son to raise together..." I touched my belly and laughed, which turned into a cry. 

Once I got that out of my system I closed my eyes. "I'm ready, God."

"I'm proud of you, Beloved. I love you!"

"I love you too!"

 God started to speak as I ascended up, "Find the others..."

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♡Song: Jae Jin- Don't Fall Too Late