Chapter Twenty-One: Confusion

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Bonjour. Namaste. Hola. 


I know I'm killing you all the suspense, so get ready for some heartbreaking action! 


Now, you may be thinking, why would I like Ryan of all people? 

1. He's funny.

2. He can make me smile.

3. He's cute.

4. He's sweet and nice to everyone.

5. He's single and doesn't do one night stands. 

6. He's cute

7. He's popular, and not a jerk. 

8. He's cute. 

9. He's smart. 

10. Did I mention he's cute?

So, because Ryan is everyone's dream boyfriend and friend, why would Alex hate him? Or try to convince me that Ryan is the bad guy? Ryan is nothing but good! Plus, Ryan had winked at me! That must mean he likes me, right? Right? No? Ok. The party had started and everyone had started dancing and milling around. I was sitting on the stairs, a cup of soda in one hand and my phone in the other. I don't dance in front of people. Period. Dress shoes appeared in front of me. I looked up, and it was Alex. He was smirking. 

"Can I help you?" I stood up. 

"Come to the kitchen with me." 

"No. Why?" 

"Just come," he rolled his eyes and practically dragged me there. 

I looked around the room. "I don't see why-" I stopped. There, by the fridge, was Ryan. My Ryan. Making out with Violet Roberts. She peeked out of one eye and winked. Thousands of emotions swirled around in me. But, the most profuse was hurt. Tears threatening to spill out of my eyes, I raced outside. I took off my sandals and just ran. And never stopped. I didn't know where I was going. Then, as if on cue, it started raining. Tears racing down my face, I looked up at the sky, in despair. 

"GREAT!" I screamed. I rubbed my eyes, looking at where I was. I was at the town center, where a bunch of shops and restaurants were. I stopped a nearby bench and just plopped down, head in my hands. I don't know why I was crying. Ryan wasn't even dating me. But, maybe it was because I thought I had a chance. I suddenly felt redhot with anger. At Violet, Ryan, Alex, Ben, yeck, I was even angry at Kate! Sadness engulfed me and I slouched. Somebody sat down next to me and put an arm around me. They pulled me close and I burrowed my face into their shirt. They smelled like rain and a familiar cologne. Alex. I pushed away from him, and stood up, towering over him for once. Rain came down in sheets. 

"Why?" I screeched. My makeup was running down my face, my hair stuck to my forehead and cheeks. "Why are you bent on making my life a living hell? Why did you have to move here? Why did you have to show me... that?! WHY?!" Alex scowled, glaring as he stood up. 

"Why? I'll tell you why. Because you can't see Ryan for who he truly is! Look behind the muscles, the hair, and the eyes, and what do you get? A jerk! And for some reason you are too in love to see that! I'm trying to help you, but you make it so goddamn hard!"  He screamed equally loud at me. 

"You know what you are, Alex? Which I can see perfectly fine? YOU are a jerk! And will always be one! So, go to hell." I spat at him, and walked away. I heard him cry out in frustration. This feeling engulfed me. I couldn't really put a finger on it though. Somehow, I managed to find my way home. As I lay curled up on my bed, in my sweats, I realized what that feeling was. Disappointment. 

I had wanted Alex to run after me. 



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