Dezeray walked with her head down, her eyes glued to the road. She knew she had to go home, which meant dealing with Zisteau. Usually, she would love to go home and laugh and joke with her dads, but not since Kurt was taken. Ever since then, all her and Zisteau could do was argue. It was stressful and she hated it, but it was home, and Zisteau is her dad.
She pulled herself out of her thoughts as she approached her house. It was a nice house, two story, has a pool. She entered quietly and made her way up to her room, hoping Zisteau wouldn't hear her. For she wasn't ready to talk to him, not yet at least. She pulled out a worn picture and looked at it, tears welling up in her eyes again. It showed Kurt, Zisteau, and herself when she was eight. She looked so happy, so childish. She had worn a white dress with pink flowers, pink flats, and her hair was pulled back into piggy tail braids.
She hugged the picture to her chest, trying so hard not to cry as she remembered a happier time. She remembered the day that picture had been taken. It was a bright summer day, and Kurt and Zisteau had told her to get dressed up so they could go out to dinner and maybe get some ice cream afterwords. The picture itself had been taken at the park and She honestly couldn't have been happier that day.
She brought her knees to her chest and rested her head on her knees, letting the tears fall, not caring anymore. She knew what was to come, and she knew it would hurt Zisteau even more, but what else was she to do? Sit around while Kurt was probably being tortured and no one was doing anything.
"Dez?" Came a quiet, questioning voice.
She lifted her head up, seeing Zisteau standing in the doorway, tears streaked down his face.
"What?" Dezeray asks quietly.
"I'm sorry about yelling at you." Zisteau says with sigh, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "I know this is hard, for both of us. And we have to work together to get through this."
Dezeray glances at Zisteau with teary blue-green eyes. "I understand. And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have done what I did. It was childish of me."
"No, Dez, you had every right to be angry and upset. We both do. And you have a point, them doing nothing is aggravating, but we have to trust that they'll get this done."
Zisteau hugged Dezeray tightly, letting her cry onto his chest. If she didn't already feel bad about what Apple, Ariana, and herself were gonna do, this made it a thousand times worse. But, they stayed like, for a long, long while, finding comfort in each others presence, finding the thing that would help them stay sane, at least for a little while.
Eventually though, they moved away from each other, both faces tear streaked and matching blue-green eyes full of sadness and longing. She was so distraught about this whole situation. Of course she knew this would hurt Zisteau, it would break his already broken heart, but what was she to do? Sit around and wait? Just was it for the day when they were told he was dead? Wait for Zisteau to be taken next? She knew she had to do this. She knew it was the only option left. She hated that she had to break Zisteau's heart again, but her heart was slowly breaking too, and she knew eventually it would become too much a burden to carry on her shoulders anymore.
"You wanna get dinner?" Zisteau asks gently.
"No, I'm not really hungry." Dezeray responds quietly, her mind waging a war.
"You ok?"
"I guess."
"You know you can talk to me. I'm always willing to listen."
"I know..."
"I'll be down stairs if you need me." Zisteau says with a sad, longing smile.
Dezeray nods as Zisteau heads from the room. Only if he knew what were to come, what was truly to come. If only he knew so it hurt less, if that were at all possible. It would hurt Bdubs, Nicole, Guude, Crystal. All of them would be hurting, but she felt it was only right to step in and do something when everyone else was doing nothing. She was already starting to dread this, her decision.
Why had she let Apple Ariana convince her this would work? Why did they keep trying to get her to look at the bright side when there really wasn't one? Why did she keep trying? Why not just give up and wait like the rest of the town? She knew the answer to all of those questions. She had hope. She had strength. She had the will power to continue believing when no one else could. That's what made her truly different from the group. She had hope. She'd learned that lesson from Kurt. He would tell her constantly, always have hope. Hope is all you need, he'd say, an insightful look in his blue eyes. She'd never really realized how true those statements were until she really had needed to have hope.
Her mind continued to wander, a while after the sun had set. She finally made her way down stairs, looking around for Zisteau. She didn't see him, which made her worried, really worried. She started freaking out, searching the house frantically. Eventually, she saw a silhouetted figure sitting out on the porch. She took a deep, steadying breath as tears rushed down her cheeks.
She rushed outside and threw her arms around Zisteau, hugging him tightly.
"Woah, you ok there?" Zisteau asks with a chuckle.
"I-I came down stairs and you weren't there...." Dezeray says shakily. "I thought they took you too!" She sobs.
"It's fine Dezzy, I'm right here, they didn't take me."
"I-I thought I was alone!"
"Dez, shhh, calm down, it's ok."
Dezeray just hugs him tightly, unable to say anything else as her fear subsides slowly.
"As long as we have each other well be fine, always." Zisteau says quietly, kidding Dezeray's head, trying to comfort the young girl.
Dezeray's heart stung with pain as those words settled in. They'd be ok if they had each other. That made her want to call off everything, to stay here and never leave. But she still knew she couldn't do anything else. She just hoped, beyond hope, that Zisteau would be ok.
Long into the night, after Dezeray had truly calmed down, and the moon had fully risen, signifying the time, almost midnight. She grabbed the bag she had packed earlier and snuck off into the night, following a moonlit path which would lead her to the beginning of a new adventure, one she wasn't sure what was to come.
