Chapter seventeen: kind of kissed

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Everyone left about an hour ago except for Matthew. We just lyed in my bed watching fuller house. (my freakin show).
"Have Mercy" i said with the show, i've only watched this episode about 100 times. "Can we watch the Golden Girls after this?" Matthew asked, it sounded like a joke but i dont know, this guy has some crazy ideas. "hm, no i rather watch the powerpuff girls" i smiled. "gross" he groaned.

"babe, my mom says i need to be home in an hour and i still have to go to the store" he said. "aw, i had other things in mind" i joked and kissed his jaw lightly. "Then again my mom can wait" he smirked kissing me. "no no, im not getting in trouble with Laura, you go", he sighed and got up. "come over around 4" he told me and i nodded.

I followed him downstairs to the door. "see you at four" i smiled and gave him a peck on his lips.
After putting bread in the toaster, engulfing a cup of water, and eating the toast i went upstairs to take shower.

It's Sunday meaning i'll be alone for a couple of hours considering my mom is out of town until tomorrow, Ethan and Kate are still at that party so they wont be home until around 6 amd Liane is going to stay at my aunt's until tomorrow.
David? well im hoping someone brings him to the middle of the ocean and leaves him there. I heard Sharks like the taste idiot cowards.

After my nice, hot shower i brushed my teeth and hair, leaving it in it's natural state considering im too lazy to style it.
For my clothing i decide on light grey sweatpants and a dark grey thin sweater. Basically the first thing i find.

imessage
from: Shawn
are you and Matt exchanging DNA?
to: Shawn
is that what the kids are calling it these days? & he left like an hour and a half ago
from: Shawn
OH, come over i have to show you something
to: Shawn
what is it?
from: Shawn
just hurry before someone gets home
to: Shawn
Shawn, honey, you know i would if i didnt have a boyfriend but....
from: Shawn
lana mae allan
to: Shawn
dont use that sacred name, Shawn Peter Raul Mendes
from: Shawn
i give up
hurry

Driving to Shawn's house was quick, we dont live far from each other. Walking it would take me about 15 to 20 minutes which isnt bad.
I just walked in, he said no one was home so what's the harm?
It wasn't until i was right outside of his door, i heard a melody. It was definetly the gutair, and it was definitely Shawn playing it.

When i walked in he stopped and looked at me. "i dont remember you knocking" he stated. "i dont remember you playing the guitar" i came back. "ah, you caught me." I smiled and sat next to him on his bed. "What are you thinking about?" he asked. "why i only ate two pieces of bread" i answered and he laughed. "Well are you ready to know what i wanted to show you?" he asked and i nodded.

He handed me a notebook. It was music notes, no lyrics though. "Whats it for?" i asked. "its a melody i came up with, im going to sing a cover and i want you to judge" he said. "im honored"

He got set up ready to do his cover. "hey do like a intro" i suggested.
Why woukd i suggest this? Because i may be recording him without him knowing.
"why?" he laughed. "just do it"

I set my phone camera on Shawn and had it set against my stomach so Shawn didnt know i was recording. "look at me when you do the intro" i said.
Confusion washed over his face and he did it anyway.
(if you're like a huge fan of him you would know how he actually became a hit but im changing it up a little, in this book he will be the amazing pop star he is okay? ok)
-
Shawn strummed the last note on his guitar and looked at me. "dude that was freaking awesome!" i yelled. He laughed and put the instrument properly in a corner. While he busied himself with that, i finished the recording on my phone, edited my screaming out and posted it on youtube. I know that's wrong without asking him, but he wouldn't let me, and he needs to be heard.

'Cover by- Shawn Mendes' i captioned it. Sucessful upload.
(told you im changing it a little lol).

I got up and hugged him and sat back down with him beside me. "that was really...." i started to say but the sound of him singing started to fill the room. Oh Shit, the recording, its playing.
"you recorded me?" he yelled. I turned it off and locked my phone. "what? no" i lied. "lana, delete it!" he yelled again. "its too late for that" i went on youtube. "already 53 views, comments and all" i smiled. "you posted it?" he yelled. CHILLLLL SHAWN MENDES.

I smiled slightly. He grabbed my phone. "hey! stop!" i whined trying to get it back. He used the hand opposite of me to stretch it away from me. "give it!"
(here comes the crazyyyy)
i climbed on top of him and kept reaching for it. He started laughing. "you'll never get it"

I started laughing and pointed at his shirt. He looked confused and looked down to where i was pointing and i snatcjed my phone, locking it. "clever" he said. "i know" i grinned. He rolled his eyes and i realized i was still on him.

He looked up at me and smiled. Gosh Mendes, why did you smile?
Lost in that smile of his, along with his eyes. Theres only so many features you can adore all at once, why cant his eyes just be dull when he smiles? that would make this sotuation easier. I could just stop and get off of him but i cant. My body says yes but i wanna say no, i cant do that to Matthew.

UM ARMS, what are you doing? They go to the sides of his neck, and my head oh my stupid, big head leans down. Our faves get closer, my hands grip the skin under his ear.

There's a light kiss that occurs for about 2 minutes, and we pull away as if cue, but it wad a gentle pull.
We look at each other and laugh.
Im not going to explain what the kiss, if we even want to call it that;it was more like a small peck. Whatever it was i dont want to explain it because if i did the words that would explain it will crumble Matthews heart. Not only will it do that, it will crumble it, stomp it, rip it, tape it back together just to be riped again, and decompose. (tf stfu im ded)

"So i dont have to delete it?" i asked, getting off of him and sitting next to him. "how many views?" he asked. I unlocked my phone and reloaded the page. "woah, 187" i answered. "whats the point?" he groaned and i smiled. "yayyyyyyyyy"
-
After leaving Shawn's house i went to Matthew's since he invited me at 4 oclock although now it's five, oops.
He answered the door with a smile and pulled me inside.

We went to the living room and i didnt hesitate to started eating the chips that were left out.
"So guess what came in the mail" Matthew said sitting next to me. (stop i know what you're thinking). I raised my eyebrow for him to tell me.
"UCLA wrote me, they said they like my performance and other stuff" he said. "Seriously?" he's been waiting for their input for a while now. "yeah have you gotten a letter back yet?" he asked. "not that i've checked" i answered. "dont worry baby girl, im pretty sure you did" he put an arm around me.

I looked up at him and smiled. I honestly just wanted to tell him about the very SMALL kiss but im so nervous.
It's not the fact that i "cheated" on him that makes me feel so bad and nervous, he has always suspected that Shawn and i had a "thing" and damn, this will confirm it.

But Shawn and i DONT have a thing, we're just really close. (keep tellin yaself that lana)
"Are you waiting for me to kiss you?" he asked laughing. That's EXACTLY what i need right now.

I bit my lip and nodded and he connected our lips. THIS is the feeling i live for.
The intensity in this kiss lead the room to feel hotter than it was. Im assuming no one's home since we're doing this out in the open, otherwise Matthew would of said something.

His hand rubbed against the skin under my shirt as we kissed more as i tugged his hair and roamed my hands through it freely.
I have to tell him, but then i dont. The "kiss" was small and undetailed, well it was detailed i just refuse to let myself detail it.

He pulled away slightly from me. "do you want to go upstairs?" he asked, it took every contracting muscle in my body to shake my head.
"i dont think we can, you know, today" i told him. "i dont mind, everything okay?" he asked. I looked at him and sighed. "whatever it is, you can tell me"

I had no other way to do it but blurt it out, rip the bandage off.

"Shawn and i kind of kissed"

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