READ A/N AT THE END, carry on❤️
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This week at school has been hell. Everyday seems like a bad day for me it's not even Friday. Matthew hasn't even looked at me all week ever since i told him about Shawn and i's very SMALL kiss, it wasn't even a kiss. I feel really bad like i dont even deserve forgiveness from Matthew, what makes it worse is that i don't even regret the lingering moment i shared with Shawn. I'm a horrible person.
It's Thursday, and the bell has rang for us to go to lunch. All week i haven't been going to lunch, i just sit in the library finishing some assignments i have, i don't want things being awkward at lunch so i keep my distance.
I Started walking alone to the library until a hand gripped my arm lightly, i was hoping it was Matthew when i turn around, but it isn't. "lana, the lunch room is this way" Shawn pointed. "And the library is that way, that's where i'm headed" i said. "it's only been a couple of days, he'll come around" he assured me. "i just feel really bad, i don't know i just need to think about things and being honest i don't even deserve his forgiveness" i told him. "Why? lana we didn't even really kiss, he actually cheated on you so he should be the one feeling bad. You can't just ignore everyone because you feel so bad about a moment we shared that you obviously regret but whatever i can't tell you what to do" and with that he left. It made me feel even more bad since he thinks i regret that moment, i'm just a mess.
Sighing, i went to the library and didn't bother on working on anything, i just put my head down.
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After school i went to my car and drove straight to Starbucks. Vanessa and Hailey wanted to hang out there for a while and that is exactly what i need; to just hang out with my best (girl) friends.
The cool inside air hit my skin as i walked to the usual corner we sit at when we come here, Vanessa was sitting there, eyes on her phone until she heard me approach her. "Aw my beautiful daughter gets prettier every day" she joked and got up to hug me. "Mom, you're embarrassing me" i joked and she let go laughing. "Im glad you said that because honestly i thought you were going to be an emotional bitch when we met up" she said. "Well aren't you the greatest friend ever" i sarcastically said, rolling my eyes. Soon Hailey joined us with three drinks. "lana!" she yelled putting the drinks on the table and embracing me. "You see me everyday at school" i laughed "Yeah but you were in emo mode all week so it's different" she said causing me to laugh. "Emo mode?", "Emo mode."
We all finished our drinks, not being close to finished with talking. "so Cameron mentioned it while Travis was RIGHT THERE! Then Travis asked if that actually happened and Matthew's dumb ass told him everything that has ever happened between Justin and i so now i'm really going to be single by tomorrow, honestly i think i should be single because being tied down is hard, i mean come on we all know i like to get around" Vanessa continued her weird yet amusing stories. "Keep being a whore and you're going to get STD's bitch" Hailey said shaking her head. "OH you can talk about STD's Hailey, lets review all of the guys AND girls you've been with" i said. "Not this again, that was a one time thing!" she whispered yelled. "that happened more than three times" Vanessa mumbled. "i remembered why i hate hanging out with you two", "you love us"
iMessage - Matthew (private)
Matthew // - i'm sorry i haven't been answering your messages.
lana // - Hey, Hi, um it's okay, how are you?
"Lana who are you texting, i swear kids now a days" Vanessa asked. "Shut up, it's Matthew", "WOAH!" I ignored their 'woah' and watched the three dots appear in the bubble. (when someone's typing lol)
Matthew // - i've been okay, how about you?
lana // - doesn't really matter, i'm really sorry i'm a horrible person and no words can explain how bad i have been feeling
Matthew // - you're not a horrible person, i've been stupid and did worse things and i'm sorry for ignoring you and don't feel bad
lana // - okay, i feel better since you texted me
Matthew // - come over when you Vanessa and Hailey are done doing whatever?
lana // - of course, and how do you know i'm with them?
Matthew // - Vanessa brought it up once, i was going to join but i didn't want to crash girls talk
lana // - we wouldn't have mind, but i'll be there in like a hour
Matthew // - okay, i love you, you know
lana // - i love you more Matthew
Matthew // - i can breathe now haha but not possible (;
"WOAH!" They yelled again, IN MY EAR. "She's smiling", "He says he can breathe now aw goals". i bit my lip from smiling too hard, why is it that he is always the reason i do that? "Shut up" i laughed. "She can't stop smiling" Hailey cooed. "Stop" i covered my face. "My baby is growing up too fast" Vanessa cried. Hailey started laughing really hard. "I hate you guys so much" i mumbled. "no you dont, go to his house now, we'll be at your house tomorrow after school for another sleepover" i nodded, hugged them and left.
Why am i so nervous? The last time i was nervous to be at Matthew's house was when i first came over and of course the last time when i had to tell him i KIND OF kissed Shawn.
Laura answered the door bringing a smile to my and her face. "How are you lana?" she asked embracing me. "I'm good how about you? how's the gym?", "great, and hot" she laughed and i joined her. "Matthew's upstairs" she pointed and i nodded going to his room.
I stood at his door, not knocking yet. My courage was still building up and before i had the chance to knock his door opened. I looked at him for a while, thinking of what to say. "hi" i finally spoke. A grin appeared on his face, making my nervousness fade away. "i missed you" and with that he engulfed me in a hug. I've had a lot of hugs today, but this one was the best. After hugging a little while longer, we went in his room talked while lying down together.
"So you forgive me right?" i asked. "lana, you're smart but not all of the time" he laughed. "are you calling me slow?" i asked. "Well im not calling you fast, am i?", "i bet you got that from the golden girls" he rolled his eyes. "it's a good show" he said.
"what's a good show?" Laura asked coming in the room. "The golden girls" i answered. "Oh yeah, Matt and i watch it sometimes" she said. "ha, see" Matthew smiled. i playfully rolled my eyes. "i have to go to work and it's an over night shift" she said. "Okay mom, love you, stay safe", "Stay safe Laura"
She closed the door on the way out. "can you stay over? i don't wanna be home alone" Matthew asked. "you scared of the dark?" i teased. "maybe a little" he joked. "are you hungry or something?" he asked.
I shook my head and before he could say anything i connected our lips.
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okaaaaay so they ARE gonna do IT 😂 but im not gonna write about it because im not very good at writing VIRGIN scenes and lol BUT i will write about their second time doing it which might be included in the next chapter depending on what im gonna write cause i havent written it yet LOL so 😋
Thanks for reading lovely's !
Quick update before school cas its friday & im feeling good 😌 i have a hotel party to go to today so yeah heres the update, pls give me feedback by boting & commenting, thanks for reading babes ❤️
