My first apartment all for myself. Going into my third year of college, I now have the option to get an on-campus apartment for one, I have been looking forward to this since freshman year of college. Don't get me wrong, the dorm rooms aren't bad at all and I loved my roomies, but a girl has got to be on her own.
The apartment is small and the bed room and kitchen are separated by a wall but It's what I expect for a one person suite. It is comfortable for me and perhaps one other person if needed, but it is just me with Shawn being on tour and all. My set up is perfect and cozy.
Sitting on my bed, I watch cupcake wars while exchanging messages with a few friends, some asking if I'm settled and the others asking about assignments. My show stops when an incoming FaceTime call pops up on my macbook's screen.
I am shocked to see it is Shawn, we haven't properly communicated in weeks, seeing he is busy on tour and the time differences. When I first began college and he went back on tour we would text and call throughout the day and FaceTime at night, falling asleep and waking up together. It brought warmness to my heart but one day it just wasn't that way anymore and I would be lucky to even get a text 3 times a day. I try to understand, but it does make me feel like we have drifted apart and are not the same way we were.
My heart still holds an insane amount of love for him though so I still pray we go back to how things were and we work this out. I never want to give up on him, on us.
I answer the Facetime, and a smiling Shawn appears causing me to smile.
"lana! sorry if it is a bad time but I had to see your face and hear your voice" he says. My heart flutters at the sound of his voice. I miss this man so much.
"It is never a bad time to talk to you, I miss you so much" I tell him. "I know I think about you all of the time, I want to come home", "is it possible for you to come home? just for a little." I ask, hoping for him to say yes.
His smile fades a little. "I wish I could, really, but everything's.." he is interrupted by a girl. I of course know who she is, but I doubt she knows me.
"Hey Shawn who's this?" she asks him. "Camilla, this is my girlfriend, lana" he introduces us. The just began touring together like a month and a half ago.
She smiles and gives me a friendly greet in which I return. She shuffles his hair before exiting the room, Shawn is left chuckling and shaking his head. "She reminds me of you" he tells me. I smile and look down, I'm happy he has a friend to share his experience with, I also wish it could be me.
"lana... before I have to go I want you to know I wrote a song for you and no one knows about it, I don't know if I want to release it yet because it is so personal for us. I love you and I know this has gotten more hard for us, but the song is so you'll never be alone" (go stream Never be Alone)
There goes that warm and fuzzy feeling that I haven't felt in a while.
"Shawn Mendes, I love you"
We say our goodbyes and hang up, afterwards he sends me the song along with the lyrics.
"Take a piece of my heart, and make it all your own, so when we are apart, you'll never be alone"
-
I wake up from the bright sun beaming into my apartment, since I have yet to get curtains. This is not the only thing that has awaken me, Shawn's song for me is still playing at a medium tone on my phone, repeat.
Turning it off, I go to my message application and send Shawn my routine good morning text.
To Shawn:
Good Morning baby, thank you so much for the song, I love it and I love you! If you're too busy to talk to me today, I want you to know I am super proud of you and I hope you have an amazing show tonight, good luck, from your number one fan.
The text is delivered and I check my emails to see the agenda for classes today. Thankfully it is Tuesday so I only have one 95 minute class, then my job. I work on campus as the library assistant.
I get up to shower, brush my teeth then my hair and dress myself in jean shorts and a tucked in black tank top. My hair goes into a ponytail since I don't have time to actually straighten or curl it. I put on black strapped sandals, grab my phone and wallet, and leave my apartment.
The on-campus apartments are right in front of the building of the school.
After class I head straight to the library and begin re stocking books and helping those who are in need of assistance to find or check out a book.
"Give me the hardest book you have to read" a familiar voice says from behind me. I smile and turn around to be greeted by a smile from Matthew.
"Seriously, you would not survive the first page of Geoffrey Chaucer" I tell him. He gives me a confused face. "I don't know who the hell that is, I was thinking something like Shakespeare so I could be the Romeo to your Juliet." He is not as smooth as he thinks he is.
I shake my head, "you do know they die, right?" I remind him, he put his hand on his face in defeat. "you should be reading up on more classic plays Mr. director"
He smiles. "I like the sound of that"
Being an actor and director has been a long dream of his. We have a lot of the same classes since we both want to major in directing.
"Anyways, you look a bit famished, let's go grab something to eat, my treat of course" he suggests. Since we both attend the same school (UCLA), he is who I see the most of, all of our other friends are about 50 minutes or so away but we still occasionally hang with them.
I agree to go after stacking the rest of the cart of books onto the shelves.
To lunch with my ex.
