Cage The Princess (A Punk Harry Styles Fanfic)

37. There's My Girl

One month would be easy for some people if they weren't me. The first two weeks I was fine, I called Harry every day and he would send me videos but then we both got busy. We're currently touring in South America with a new band called, Stage The Fright (don't know if this is an actual band just made up the name but it's a punk band as well) they're pretty sick but they're also into drugs and heavy drinking.

The last two weeks were the worst. Hate had become too much as I had gained some weight back. Not much but I no longer had a thigh gap. Thomas, lead singer of Stage The Fright invited me to go to a club which I accepted one night. He offered me drugs but I said no. That's one thing I will never do but I did start drinking much more than I normally did. For those few hours it numbed my pain. Numbed the thoughts crawling around in my head saying awful thinking about myself. It numbed the fact that Harry couldn't make it out to see me.

1 month later (it’s now April) and I find myself in rehab. Caleb cancelled tour because I had started cutting again and drinking before shows. I could tell I disappointed him and that hurt me. I haven't talked to Harry in the last month mainly because I ignored him. I didn't want him to see or hear me like this. I failed him for a third time. He doesn't deserve me. He deserves someone who is happy and can take care of themselves without having suicidal thoughts.

I sigh as Caleb checks me in.

"It's only for one month. We need to get you better. This is a huge deal for us touring worldwide and you're throwing it away with your selfishness."

I frown, my face contorting in anger. How dare he?!

The doctors take my hands and show me to my plain white room with nothing but white everywhere.

In that month of rehab I've learned a lot about myself. I guess that's the point right? I learned that everything that is wrong with me is rooted with my mother abusing me. I also learned that Caleb was right. I'm throwing away our dream because I can't handle my insecurities. I can't handle what they're saying on twitter because it’s exactly what I'm thinking in my head. Through this month I feel stronger. It's now May 18th and I get released in two days. I also get a phone call which I use to call Harry and apologize.

It rings 5 times and just when I thought he wouldn't answer he does.

"Hello?" I hear the voice that I've missed so much.

"Hey."

"Hey, baby. How are you?"

"Good actually."

"Are you lying?"

"No. I think rehab has been good for me. I learned a lot about myself. I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 and I have a panic disorder that we knew about." I sigh.

"Well it's good to know, I mean it means there's a reason behind everything."

"Yeah that's what the doctor said. I'll be on Meds for a while. She said hopefully we can wing me off in the future but for now I have six pills a day that will keep me sane." I laugh bitterly.

"When you get out we can spend the week together."

"Sounds good." I smile.

"You sound happier." He sighs.

"I know, I feel happier. I just wish I could've made myself happy and not have something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you just a little messed up in the head." He teases.

I laugh at him. "I've missed you so much." I sigh. Harry is pretty much the only thing that makes me happy. I hate saying that because Caleb would get upset since he's my best friend.