Standing Under Clouds/Jennifer Jareau/Criminal Minds fanfiction.

Chapter 7: Why?

3 weeks since JJ's moms death...

I lay in my bed. Today I have to go to work after my break that you get after you lose a loved one. The phone calls started about one week ago. They always say the same thing. Blue eyes and blond hair I wont let you go in a million years... You promised not to tell and you kept your promise... But I want you back... Those last few words always ring in my ears. I cant tell my team... Because I know who it is. Its none other then James Burton.

I slip into the shower. I let the hot water round down my back and just let it soothe me into wanting to go to work. I was dreading this day because I have to face the people I love, I have to face Hotch who knows my secrets before I do, and I have to pretend to be okay.

I put on a short sleeve white button down blouse, a pair of blue jeans, and brown leather boots. I have to change my shirt and put on a long sleeve one because of the bruises and scratches on my arm because of me falling of my bed in my sleep and scratching at my self trying go get him away from me in my dreams.

I head to the BAU and in the car I suddenly becomes nervous because O remember that I have lost a lot of weight because I have not eaten much fir 5 days. I probably only have eaten 2-3 cups of food everyday for about 6 days. I ate 3 on my good days. I try to calm myself down and tell myself that they wont notice I say it over and over again in my head.

They wont notce, they wont notice, please don't let then notice. I walk into the BAU... They noticed. I try not to draw much attention to it.

"Hey guys!" I say with a smily on my face and extending my arms to give Morgan and Garcia hugs.

"JJ!" Emily says with a smile and hugging me.

"JJ your here, good. Uh guys we got a case." Hotch says in his stern serious tone. Oh and am I glad he did not look up from his watch because he would definitely notice the weight loss and now that we are on a case I can quickly slip away every time he tries to bring it up.

4 women in a small town called Bricksburg. All 40, brown hair, brownish green eyes, they all worked at the Elementary school in the town.

"Possibly another teacher?" Emily asks. I had just been thinking that but did not wanna draw any attention to myself.

"What are the chances of 4 teachers all brown hair and brown eyes working at a elementary school in a small town?" Morgan asks.

"Maybe the unsub is somebody who help in the process of hiring teachers."

"Excuse me I have to answer this." Hotch says as he answers his ringing phone. "Yes okay yes we are about to leave." He says.

"What happened?" Morgan asks.

"Another body has just been found. Its the same emo except she is a parent of a child who is in kindergarten at the school." Hotch states. "Wheels up in thirty." He says. 

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On the Jet

I sat on the jet away from the rest of the team, but then Emily came to sit beside me. I of course did not mind. Emily was the least pushy person to get me to tell her stuff because she was just as stubborn as I am that way. If not more. I smile at her and then look back out the window.

"Hey JJ whats going on in your head?" She asks as if trying not to make it so obvious that the translation for what she just said is: Why the heck you acting like you just killed someone?!?

"Nothing? Why?" I asks trying to act as confused as possible.

"Nothing? Are you sure?" She asks.

"Yes Emily." I groan still looking out the window.

"Jayje you know you cant lie to me." She says. So much for her not being pushy. Why does everyone have to know everything about me? Why does Hotch always seem to be able to look straight through me and know what I am thinking, Why does Rossi always try to give me advice when he does not know what I need advice with, why does Morgan always treat me like I need help whether its from the medics or from him or from somebody else, why does Garcia always have to know why I am crying or have to think I have a lovelife, why does Spence always... well I guess Spence has not really pushed me for anything... maybe I will talk to him about it?

"JJ?" Somebody saying my name breaks me out of my thoughts.

"Oh yah sorry." I realize that it was Emily who was still sitting beside me.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Hotch wants you and I to go to the crime scene okay?"She tells me. I guess I must have not heard Hotch assigning the Jobs.

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We are at the crime scene and it is pretty bad there was a trophy left at each of the crime scenes from one of his victims the latest one was a necklace from the last victim.

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Its now midnight and we are all heading to the hotel. Me and Emily sharing and all the boys in there own. Its just me and Emily and I am hoping she wont notice how skinny I am, its not my fault I just keep forgetting to eat. We sit down and eat dinner. I remember that I have not eaten much in while so I get a little nervous. I eat it anyway not wanting to draw much attention to it. I then go into the shower. I put on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top (not remember about my weight lost recently). When I walk out I sit beside Emily who is watching a movie.

"JJ? Have you lost weight recently?" She asks and I mentally face palming myself. Crap I forgot about that.

"Uh yah um a heh heh why?" I say trying to act casual.

"JJ you have lost unhealthy amount of weight." She says while turning to look at me. What do I say the truth or another lie that I just pray she will believe me. I will try a lie I mean it cant hurt to try.

"Yeh uh I have been working out." I wonder if she will believe that.

"No you have not JJ you have lost all your strength." She observes. But then I know its all over because I knew I was gonna through up my food and now I am. I get up run to the bathroom and close the door. Emily keeps saying my name but I assure I am okay and I must have just of eaten something expired and am gonna be sick. After my puking episode I know that she is gonna be suspicious because she obviously already was that I had not been eating and now I just through up my food because my body was not used to it.

jeid_4life lindsayk2503

A/N: This was a long chapter! Let me know if you enjoy having long chapters or if you enjoy me keeping them short. I just get so into writing it that I forget that I have to put the story into chapters. What do you think is gonna happen when or if JJ tells Emily the truth. I know this was nit my best chapter but trust me don't give up on me just yet. I know that I dont have the character of JJ spot on but I know I can get it so just give it another shot. I am also gonna start another fanfiction about Emily Prentiss. Feel free to read it or not to read it because its really just for me to try and improve my writing.