Jennifer Jareau (JJ) suddenly becomes secretive and withdrawn. Can the team find out whats wrong and help her... Before-its-to late?
No henry or Will sorry!
Warning: Violence
Trigger Warning
This book is completed
"You good?" Morgan asks as I walk out of the hospital room. I just keep walking without acknowledging him. I think he is realizing that I am purposely not talking to him now. I am not doing it to make him mad but I cant bring myself to look at him.
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Later at the hotel: Me and Emily walk up to our room. As we approach the door somebody comes up from behind us.
"Goodnight ladies." Morgan says smiling as he unlocks his room across the hall from us.
"Goodnight Morgan." Emily replies while I just look down. We walk into the hotel room. I look around. Two bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. These hotels are always nice, after all they are five star hotels. Emily and I both take a room. My room has a bed a chair and a TV. I set my bag down beside the bed.
"Hey JJ do you want to order room sevice?" Emily yells from the kitchen.
"Yah sure." I yell back. I put my hair in a ponytail and walk back out. I can tell the Emily is still uneasy about me being in the case. I walk up behind her and she turns around to look at me while hanging up her phone.
"Hey Emily you know that I am okay right?" I ask her cautiously.
"JJ its only been 4 and a half weeks since it happened and you are acting like nothing ever happened." She says with worried and caring eyes. I look down knowing that she is right, I am acting like nothing ever happened.
"Emily look I am fine and if I have a problem I will tell you." I say with a reassuring voice.
"I see how you act towards Morgan." She says still in a calm voice. I cant handle that though so I just turn around and walk into my room.
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That morning I go into the bathroom to get my hair done. I leave the door open so Emily knows that I am just doing my hair. I still refuse to look at my face in the mirror though, I cant look at myself anymore and not feel upset. I just do my hair with my back turned to the mirror. Emily walks in. She does not say anything though. She does her hair in the mirror.
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At the PD I am looking at case files when Morgan comes and shuts the door behind him.
"What are you?-" I start but he cuts me off.
"We need to talk about this." He says. Fear instantly shoots through me.
"There is nothing to talk about." I say annoyed while still looking at my case file.
"Yes Jennifer there is." He says in a nice calm voice. I just keep looking at my case file. I cant take it anymore. I want him to leave. I stand up.
"Get away from me." I say with tears now brimming at my eyes.
"JJ calm down." He says a little more serious now.
"No! Get away." I say again. "You You killed him." I say quietly.
"So that is what this is about." He says.
"What do you think?" I say with a laugh, not a happy laugh though more like a annoyed one. I am in so much pain that I lost him. I am in so much pain that he caused me that I cant function anymore and I cant take it anymore. I just break down and cry. Morgan is obviously surprised by this, but he keeps talking.
"Jayje if I did not shoot him a lot of innocent people would have lost there lives." He says. This guys caused me so much pain and guilt and disgust in myself that maybe I would be better off dead. I cant help myself but to say.
"Maybe I'm better off dead." I mumble very quietly under my breath and my crying.
"What did you say?" Morgan asks with a worried look.
"I said maybe I would be better off dead! Is that what you wanna hear because its what I feel." He looks totally stunned.
"JJ I-" He starts.
"No! I am fine and I don't need your help." I say and storm out with tears still on my face.
"JJ?" Hotch says as I walk by him. I walk by him and out if the building. I just run and run and run, I don't stop.
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After a lot of running I made my way back to the PD and got in a SUV. I drove back to the hotel hoping that Emily would not be there yet.
Emily was not there when I got there and I just went into the bathroom and locked door. I rock back and forth in a ball.
"Its just a dream." I say to myself over and over again while still rocking on the flood of the bathroom with my hand covering my ears.
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A/N: I am still enjoying writing my story but I used to get inspiration with everything I heard and saw for this story. Now I dont have that same inspiration. Thanku: blackbirdjeid
