Standing Under Clouds/Jennifer Jareau/Criminal Minds fanfiction.

Chapter 16: Tears

JJ's POV
I feel punches and kicks as I am beat to the ground. Something unexpected happens. I stand up and start kissing the man beating me up.

"I love you." I say. He starts to disappear . Slowly, he fades away.

"James, James!" I yell trying to reach out to him. I hear him yell back.

"JJ? JJ!" He yells. His voice starts to change and I realize it sounds like Spencer... Wait that is Spencer!

I wake up from my state of sleep to the sound of Spence calling my name. He shakes me.

"What the heck?" I say annoyed and confused.

"What the heck to me JJ? What the heck to you. You where screaming!" He argues.

"What no I wasn't!" I defend.

"Yea JJ- you were." He says in a smart tone. I hate it when people talk like that, when they act like something you cant figure out is so obvious. I sit up and rub my eyes. He is sitting at the end of the bed with a worried look in his eyes.

"Spence I'm sorry. But-but-but it was so real." I say stuttering and holding back tears. He grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. My head rests on his chest and his arms are around me... Then I feel something coming on.

"Shoot." I whisper.

"What?" He asks. I have no time to answer before I go into a state of insanity. I start hyperventilating. I curl up and put my face in my knees. I don't rock this time. I just sit there, scared, alone. Whenever I have a episode it feels dark and lonely and I cant think or control my actions.

"JJ your having a episode." He backs away from me as the doctor tells him told them to do when this happens. I am glad because once he gets far enough I start to calm down.

"I am so sorry." I say while sighing and leaning against the wall. He slowly approaches me. Being cautious with every step.

"I am fine Spence." I say while patting beside me signing for him to sit down.

"Sorry." He says with his head down.

"For what?" I ask honestly confused.

"I just caused another episode, I have caused so many, I am sorry." He says still looking down.

"Spence its not your fault, you know that right." I question in a confused and reassuring sounding voice.

"I know but I feel like I could do more to help, I know I could." He says sounding and looking ashamed. What does he think? He thinks he can just fix this and stop them from happening? Well he's wrong.

"Spencer no!" I say whisper yelling with tears brimming at my eyes, I prevent them from falling. "Spencer there is nothing." I emphasize the word nothing. "Absolutely nothing!, you can do to help me." I say strongly while almost crying.

"JJ I-" He starts but is cut off by me.

"No Spence, No." I say while wiping my almost falling tears and walking out of the room. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch. I put hang my head down and rest my elbows on my spread apart knees. I sit there breathing heavy, slightly wheezing because of holding back my crying. I sit there for a good 15 minutes in the exact same position. I then feel someone touch my shoulded. I jump and quietly scream at the same time.

"Jees Spence, you scared me!" I say now standing.

"Sorry." He says quickly but queitly. I walk back to the kitchen.  

"Hey do you want breakfast?" I askz. He considers it and is about to answer.

"Bz bz bz." Our phones go off in in cinq

"Or not." I say checking my phone. I head to the shower.

"Guess we got a case." He says. I decide to shower before we go. I lock the door in the bathroom. I slip into the shower. I can barely look at myself anymore, it hurts to see all those scars. I cant prevent people from seeing the one that runs over my collar bone but everything else I try to hide. I am bruised and scarred from neck down. I step out of the shower. I get dressed in a white blouse with black jeans and boots. I start to comb my hair in the spare room. I brush my hair facing away from the mirror, I refuse to look at myself in the mirror. I walk out of the room to see Spencer standing the entry way.

"You ready?" He asks. It was sorda a rhetorical question. I nod and we head to the door. He is about to get into the car when he starts feeling his pockets.

"I swear I put them here." I hear him mumbling. I cant help but giggle. He looks back at me with suspecting eyes. I cant help but look guilty.

"Missing something?" I say mockingly and giggling while waving his keys.

"Hey JJ!- How did you? But- I But I I had them in my pocket! What the heck JJ?!" He says trying to figure it out.

"You know took these from you when you where walking to the car." I say still stifling a laugh.

"Wh-Why?" He asks confused. You know for a genius he asks a lot of really stupid questions.

"Because I am driving." I say smirking.

"Oh no your not!" He yells playfully and starts chasing me. I run around the car while he tries to chase me.

"Jennifer you get back here right now!" He yells while laughing. He is a really slow runner.

"Not a chance!" I say still running. "You know Spence I am a distant and speed runner, I can do this all day." I say still running.

"You know Jennifer I am a good pick pocketer too?" He says smirking.

"Oh?" I say jokingly. He pulls something out of his pocket."

"Spence how did you get that! Give it back!" I yell while he dangles my cellphone. This day just went from bad to fun! We keep chasing each other around like children.

A/N:
Hey guys! Thanks for reading and voting on my story latley! Just so you guys know I love it when you comment! Hope you guys like the story! Give me any ideas you have or would like to happen! I will consider them.