Standing Under Clouds/Jennifer Jareau/Criminal Minds fanfiction.

Chapter 25: Fighting

One of the deepest secrets in life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others.
-Lewis Carroll

The jet:
I stare out the window. Looking off into the sky. I wonder what its like up there, in the clouds, no government, no criminals. Don't get me wrong I am the last person to be religious. I used to be, but then all this crap happened to me and I prayed and prayed and nothing happened. Bad luck? I think not. I just like to think something is waiting up there for us.

"Hey Jayje." A voice breaks me out of my thoughts. It was Spencer. I felt bad for him. I don't know why but he seemed really attached to this case. He is young and he sees this every day. I guess it is bound to get into his head at some point.

"Oh uh hi." I say a little startled.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. What you doing." He asked.

"Just wondering." I say pretty absently while still looking out the window.

"About what?" He pryes.

"About nothing and everything." I say.

"What does that mean?" He asks actually confused.

"I'm wondering whats up there." I say looking up at the clouds.

"Well past the atmosphere there is space and it pretty much goes on forever." He says in a smart tone.

"I don't mean space." I say turning around at him and laughing.

"Oh well as for past that there is no scientific proof that heaven exists." He says still in a smart tone.

"Do you believe in it?" I ask him curiously.

"Well I cant really, I mean I'm a man of statistics and facts and the facts are after we die were gone." He says.

"Thats a opinion." I say proudly because I'm correcting him.

"Actually its not the facts that say there is no god and nothing after death." He says while opening a case file. He is actually starting to get on my nerves.
I cant help but wonder, I just lost James so I have to wonder if he is in a better place now. Spencer has actually been bothering me a little bit the last few days. He keeps making comments that aren't directly pointed at me but they sorda suggest that I am stupid for missing James. I don't know, I am probably just being hard on him.

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After the jet lands:
"Rossi and Morgan you go to the crimE scenes, JJ and I will go to the police department, Reid and Emily you go ti the mourge." Hotch orders. I realized that Hotch didn't pair me up with Spencer as he usually does. Maybe he noticed how Reid was acting too. Maybe its not just me.

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Once we get to the Police Department we introduce ourselves to the sherrif.

"Hi I'm SSA Agent Jennifer Jareau, and this SSA Agent Aaron Hotchner.

"Hi, uh I thought you told me your team was bigger?" He says confused.

"Yes there are more members but they're checking out the mourge, and crime scenes.

"Oh, okay well we have lots you guys can do here." The Sheriff answers.

"Do you have anything on this case?" I ask him.

"Yep its all in here." He says leading me to a room with 2 large file boxes and some case files on the table.

"Okay Hotch I'll get started on this." I say walking to the table." I say while he starts spreading out pictures across the board in another room. I start looking though the files. Its all just things that are similar types of murder, and the murders thereselves. I open up some more on the murdered women and honestly I don't think he cares who he kills. After almost a hour of looking through file I hear a knock on the door (not that it was closed.) I look up to see Morgan standing in the doorway.

"Mind if I help?" He says in a soft kind voice.

"Oh sure." I say smiling and scooting over.

"Whats buggin' yah JJ?" He asks me still in a small voice.

"I think any profiler can tell." I mumble not looking up from my case file. Its true they're all profilers they know whats bugging me, sometimes before I figure it out myself.

"Okay thats fair, and true." He says.

"Why do people always have to ask me then?" I say now looking up at him.

"Okay sorry lets just pretend I didn't." He says putting his hands up to prove he's innocent.

"Okay." I laugh and look back at the file. We look back the files and I decide to go get some coffee. I walk over ti the coffee machine which is in a room with two big open doors. I feel the presence of somebody else. I turn around to see its Spencer.

"Hey." I mumble while trying to get out quick as I can. He grabs my arm as I try to walk out.

"Wait." He says."

"What do you want? Huh?" I say annoyed.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He says in a hurt voice.

"Why?! Why am I avoiding you?!" I say getting louder and more annoyed with every word.

"Yeah JJ! Why are you avoiding me?" He says angrily.

"You know what your doing. You are making me seen stupid for loving James, for missing him!" I say at my last string.

"Why did you ever love him?! You know what I wanna know?! Why did you not call the cops right after he did what he did, years ago?! If you had then all those women he killed would be alive and you never would have been kidnapped! I don't get why your so broken over being kidnapped!" Ge screams.

"And why is that?" I retort back at him. I try not to scream because I don't wanna draw more attention.

"BECAUSE ITS YOUR FAULT!" He yells. He says each of the words slowly and they all ring in my head. I find words to retort back.

"I'm sorry Reid I'm not perfect I make a lot of mistakes because for some of us who aren't super geniuses life doesn't come with instruction!" I say with extremely gritted teeth in the most sternest voice possible. I practically yell it. I storm out to find a room with nobody in it.

"Jayje?" I hear Emily say confused and then she turns her attention to Reid. I find a empty room. I slide down the wall........ And break.

A/N: Guys I felt a lot of emotions if you cant tell while writng this chapter and I hope you felt the same way. Thanku shipjeid101 I love your story 'begin again.'