Lauren🙈
Trigger Warning
Sorry for any mistakes
Not proof read
I was with Lauren and she wanted to tell the girls that we've been dating. Lauren and I have been dating for 8 months and we have been doing good. I'm nervous I'm scared that the girls won't approve. I'm scared that they won't want to talk to us anymore.
"Babe everything will be fine okay?" I looked up and saw Lauren smiling down at me. We were on the tour bus. The girls went to go buy some food. While Lauren and I said we'll wait here. I was one of their opening acts for the 7/27 tour. The tour started not that long ago and Lauren and I have been dating before the tour started. I get along with all the girls. But then again I don't know how'd they act.
Before I could answer her we heard Dinah's loud voice. "We're here!" She yelled Lauren took a hold of my hand and we walked to the little living room since we were in the back.
They all were sitting down eating. Okay it's now or never.
"Uhhh g-girls w-we uh w-we h-have to tell y-you s-something." I said my nerves were getting the best of me.
"Uhh I uhh- I'm gay and Y/N and I have been dating for the past 8 months." Lauren said calmly. I looked at the girls and Dinah had her mouth open, Ally looked surprised, Camila froze with her banana near her mouth and Normani hand the most blank face.
"So Y/SN is real?" Dinah asked. Lauren and I nodded holding hands. She squealed clapping her hands.
"I call being captain." She said smiling getting up and hugging is. I smiled and looked at Ally. She looked at me and smiled.
"I love both of you and if you love each other than that's okay I support you girls." She got up and gave us hug. I smiled and looked at Camila. She jumped up.
"I call being co captain." She squealed. She first hugged Lauren then me. I looked at Normani who was quite. She made eye contact with me and quickly got up. I don't have good feeling about this.
"You guys can't be serious this is wrong they can't date." She said clearly angry. I have never seen her so angry. She then quickly looked at me.
"You! You tricked Lauren into this I have always had the feeling you were a stupid dyke. You're pathetic bitch. You are just using Lauren cause she's way more famous than you." With every sentence she said was like stab to the heart none of the girls knew that I went through depression. They didn't know that I used to harm my self. Lauren is the only one who knows. With every sentence she harshly pointed at my chest. That's gonna leave a bruise.
I felt tears streaming down my face. A lump in my throat. "Oh are you gonna cry now be a little fucking baby suck it up wait until Simon hears about this you'll be off this tour by tomorrow." Normani spat.
"NORMANI THATS ENOUGH." Dinah yelled pulling the dark skinned girl out of the the little living room.
"Um I-I'm g-gonna go." I said and quickly making my way out of the bus. I ran to my bus which I thank god cause the beginning of the tour I had to share with the girls.
I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in. I slid down the door bringing my knees up to my chest.
Normani is right your pathetic.
You don't deserve Lauren.
Nobody loves you Lauren just feels bad for you.
Just cut yourself it'll make everything better.
Who's a better friend than the blade that has always been there for you.
Come on just one time.
I tried to ignore the voices in my head but I couldn't they had a point. I looked up and saw my razor. I reached for it with my shaky hands. I smashed it on the floor and picked up the blade. I pulled up sleeve and took off the bracelets the that covered my old scars. Just once.
I ran the blade over my wrist. Once. Twice. Three. Four. Five. Six.
(Never harm yourself loves I know sometimes you'll feel like you need to and need a way to escape I know how it's feels trust me I know how it feels but if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for ya love ya)
I looked down at my wrist and saw the blood run down my wrist on to the floor. Maybe Lauren deserves someone better than me.
Lauren's POV
I stood there shocked I couldn't move when Normani was saying those harsh things to Y/N. I just stood there.
"NORMANI THATS ENOUGH." Dinah yelled pulling Normani out of the little living room. Before I could say anything Y/N also rushed out of the bus. I broke down before I could hit the ground Camila caught me in her arms. She sat me on the couch and I just sobbed in her shoulder.
"Everything will be okay Lo." Camila tried to comfort me. I was in her arms for at least half an hour.
Shit Y/N!
I quickly got up and rushed out of the room. Leaving Ally and Camila confused. I rushed out of the bus and ran to Y/N's. I quickly put in the code and went in. I checked her bunk empty. I ran to the bathroom where the water was running. I knocked on the door. And got no replay. I knocked again.
"Just a second." She sounded like she was crying. She opened the door and her eyes were red from crying they were puffy. She looked pale. Her hair was wet. She was wearing my hoodie and some sweats. I brought her in my arms and she cried.
I lead her to the bunks and helped her up and I slowly followed behind. She laid her head on my chest crying softly. I touched her arm and she flinched.
"Y/N please tell me you didn't." I begged my voice cracking.
She sobbed and looked down. I got out of the bunk and led her to the back of the bus. I sat her down on the couch. I gently picked up her arm when I sat down. I gently pulled up the sleeve of the hoodie. I bit my lip when I saw the bandage. I gently unwrapped the bandage and saw 6 still bloody cuts. They were deep but not to deep to reach a vain.
Tears streamed down my cheeks I looked up at Y/N as soon as I was done recleaning the wounds and re-bandaging them she had her head
down in shame.
"S-She's r-right." She mumbled. I looked at her confused.
"What?"
"Y-You deserve b-better you don't need this a girl with problems I'm pathetic you could do so much better. I think it's best if we call it off." She whispered the last part. My heart dropped. I cupped her face to make her look at me.
"I love you okay and what Normani said she's wrong okay you are not pathetic and I know you aren't using me. Y/N I love you and if you think that what Normani said is 100 percent right your wrong cause it's not true." She looked at me with her red puffy eyes and nodded hesitantly. I pulled her into a hug as she rested her head on my chest.
"I love you never forget that."
"I-I love you too."
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