Love Life

Heartbroken

I went home as fast as I could after my violin lesson in class. My heart stills aches after the break up between Natsu and I.

Natsu is twenty four, he's a young adult and he's my teacher.

I can't believe this at all! I'm so upset, depressed, angry, and terrified. I'm feeling sick inside...like the part of me that's three wants to come out of my eyes.

I turn on the faucet and take my clothes off my sweater and skirt, leaving the shirt on. I go inside the shower, letting the water rinsing down my body. Hot tears go crawling down my cheeks and I sob, my shoulders going up and down.

I'm having difficulty breathing while crying in the shower and sobbing. My heart feels terrible and I just want to rip it out and throw it.

I have to let my feelings out. I can't keep them inside all bottled up together. Who knows what my emotions will make me do.

Perhaps, if I did let it in, I would just start to cry during class time and that would grab everyone's attention.

Natsu would kick me out and demand me to go wash myself in the bathroom. So it's best if I just let it out in here in the shower.

I started to sing a song that kind of relates to Natsu and I. It's called Bumper Cars by Alex and Sierra.

"Can't help wondering what you're thinking. Wherever you are. Late night movies, careless drinking...to cover these scars. And as I much as I want to be with you...I know."

I slide down the shower and sob, crying and shedding my own tears. I hug myself, sniffing and trembling.

"We're bumper cars! Bumper cars! The more I try to get to you, the more we crash apart."

I wonder what Natsu is doing at the moment. I wonder if he's thinking and worrying about me.

I miss him so much right now. I can't help but feel devastated. Why does this have to happen!? I have so many things to worry for.

My father being at the hospital, Natsu and I's breakup, trying hard to graduate Fairy Academy in two years, and being successful in life.

"...The more we crash apart, whoa! This was supposed to fun! This was suppose to be the one! Maybe we stayed too long! Maybe we played all wrong."

"Round and round we chase the sparks but all that seems to lead to is a pile of broken parts." I sang in my normal voice, pounding and hitting the pool of water in my shower.

I put my knees up and hugged them tightly, rocking myself back and forth. Meeting Natsu was fate but falling in love...I had no control over.

I've heard of that quote before but I decided to change it up a bit with Natsu's name.

I sigh, wiping away my tears.

I just wish that Natsu and I didn't fall in love with each other. It would all have been different.

***

After taking an emotional shower, I laid down on my bed and think about what just happened.

I have cried over my first break up. Natsu took my first kiss and left. 

What am I saying? Its obviously my fault for moving into this new apartment and for wanting to go to a music school.

It's my fault for choosing Fairy Academy! Everything is my fault...everything.

Now, I hope that Natsu isn't crying right now. I just hope that he's heartbroken just like me.

***

Natsu

I punch the wall as it cracked.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" I shouted, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Why!? Why did I fall in love with her!? Just why!? Why did it had to be her?

'I love you too, Natsu. More than anything.'

As I remember Lucy's words and memories I had with her, it only makes me more angry and agitated.

'I'm Lucy Heartfilia. It's nice to meet you.'

Her smile. Her laugh. Her tears. Her kisses. Her voice. Her everything.

I miss her so much.

I threw my stuff to the ground and toss a vase, a table, picture frames, etc.

I drop to my knees as I cry out loud. She was the one that's suppose to be for me. She was the one that's suppose to be with me. Lucy was suppose to be the one that I can love forever.

"No! I hate this! I have so many hardships in my life that I can't handle another...please, God tell me that there's a way for me to be back with Lucy. Please. I don't want to be hurt again."

I stand up and my muscles tense up until I hear my door swing open and somebody hugging me from behind.

"P-Please...control yourself, Natsu."

"Lucy...? W-What are you doing here?" I stutter, trembling.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. Her presence makes me feel so warm inside. My heart skips a beat and I sigh.

"I heard you punching the wall and throwing things. It made me think that you were angry and...sad."

I turn around and pull Lucy in my arms, hugging her tightly.

"Lucy, I've been heartbroken before. But you picked up the pieces without knowing it and you made me feel whole again. I can't let you go. I love you too much to let this end." I said, breathing uncontrollably.

"Natsu, I miss you too but like you said, we can't be together–"

"Screw what I said! I want to be with you forever! How about...we keep this dating a secret? No one will know except us." I said, and Lucy gasps.

"B-But what if they catch us? You'll be fired and I'll be–"

"I don't care if I'm fired. As long as I can be with you, I'm fine. I'll teach you how to play instruments at home if you get expelled." I said, giving her a small smile as I plant my forehead against hers.

"I would really love that."

We break the hug and I caress Lucy's cheeks. Just seeing her smiling is enough for me.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

With that, we share a kiss.

Thank you God for telling me this. I really needed Lucy back in my life. I love her too much that I can't let go of her.