Arrows in the Dark

Stay Alive

I get back into my room and peel the clothes off of me. I rummage through the drawer and find some cotton pants. They're warm and feel comfortable enough to sleep in. I pull them on and another plain colored shirt. this one's bigger so it's easier to move in. I sit on the edge of my bed. Someone has taken away my mother's dress. I make a small noise, my voice catching in my throat making me want to cry. I want it back. I should have said something. Left a note. they probably wouldn't have let me keep it anyways.

Suddenly i'm regretting volunteering. Then i feel worse because i would've sent my best friend on a death march. Gale and i would have been able to support her family but i wouldn't have been able to look at them and not be reminded of Katniss. Then there was Peeta. Just knowing that he was going to die made me want to break down. I've been in love with him ever since he helped Katniss by giving us the bread. I don't think he remembers it. I don't think he understands how much that meant to me.

When i saw Katniss the next day at school she was looking at Peeta curiously as if she was seeing him for the first time. The mark on his face had swelled up a bit. "What?" i asked looking out across to Peeta too as i walked up to Katniss. She shook her head as if she forgot something she was suppose to remember. After school her, Prim and I walked along the edges of the Meadow collecting dandelion greens. I heard Katniss telling Prim that there was plenty of things they could harvest further into the meadow.

The next day after school Katniss and i scared out of our wits crawled under the fence and headed into the forest. We never went too far. We'd only been touching the edges of it. We had never gone in alone without Katniss dad. Mr. Everdean had been more of a father to me than my own dad. Katniss and i had spent so much time with him when we were little. It hit us hard when he died. I never tell Katniss this but i used to cry every night because i would never see her dad again, but that's just it. He wasn't my dad. So i never told her and i never showed how much his death affected me too. I had to be there for Katniss. I had to take care of her.

Since i spent so much time with them Mr. Everdean thought it fitting that i learn to hunt too. I don't mean to put him down but he said i could help them catch food for their dinner. He never meant it as in we're putting Katniss friendship with you to use. I was eager to learn. If Katniss was going to do it i wanted to learn too. He made us each a small version of his bow and arrows. He had started work on bigger ones for when we're older. He only finished one before he died. The second one still unfinished sits in the hollow log.

Katniss uses her dad's, it suits her. I use the one he made for her. We shot a rabbit each that day. I had never seen Mrs. Everdean more alive than she did when we brought them home to her. I was guessing they hadn't had meat in a while. Well they hadn't had anything in a while. She skinned them both and made a stew as she cooked them, then she seemed confused. Why was she moving? So she stopped and went back and laid in her bed. At least we made progress. I slept soundly that night knowing i wouldn't have to worry so much about any one other than myself. the Everdean family was going to be all right. I was going to make sure of that.

Everyday we went into the woods. We stayed out longer on Saturday's and Sunday's, rising early and heading out to get more done. Bring more home. When Katniss birthday came along she signed up for tesserae and i knew everything would be all right. For a little while anyways. We were now both 12 eligible for the games and with Katniss signing up for tesserae for her, her mother, and Prim her name would be in the bowl five times while i only had one. There was always something to worry about.

Right now back in District 12 Katniss is probably crying, maybe Prim is cuddled up next to her in bed. I never knew how Gale handled emotion which is why it scared me when he expressed his feelings for me so openly. I had only ever seen him angry, sad, and happy. Never upset or madly in love. Those were new. I pulled my hair out of it's braid it was almost undone by now anyways. Strands of hair kept falling into my face. I probably looked like a crazed person. I scooted up onto my bed and under the covers. Then i fell into an endless sleep.