Arrows in the Dark

The Truth, Sort Of

A week later

"Catroa!" Peeta shouts but i don't want to listen to him. I don't want to hear anything he has to say to me. It's been a week since I've spoken to him, looked at him even. I've tried to stay away from him. I don't want an explanation. I want everything to go back to normal. I want to live with my parents, hang out with Gale and Katniss, hunt in the woods, and be ignored by Peeta. It hasn't worked out as well as i hoped. After i passed out on Peeta he carried me all the way out of the the woods, in the dark, i might add, through the hole in the fence and up into my second floor bedroom. I woke up and screamed at him. I wanted him to get out of my room. I wanted him to leave me alone. I knew that Carmela and Thresh had died rather suddenly, but now i know why they gave in so easily.

Peeta tried to reason with me at first, calm me down but i was so violent. I actually threw something at him. A book that wasn't all too heavy i guess i knew what i was doing even blinded by fury. I could never actually hurt him. He ran out of my room and let me stomp around upstairs. he called up to me that he'd be back tomorrow morning when i wasn't so i think he used a better word than insane but i can't remember. After he left i locked all the doors closed all the windows and covered them then i slept, and when i woke up i stayed in bed. Peeta would come, bang on the door but i would never answer. Once he'd give up and leave i would change and head into my backyard. I had gotten back into the habit of hoping fences to avoid Peeta.

I got back into the routine of handing out money. I knew the people in the Seam were grateful to see me looking better and not smelling of alcohol. I stayed with the Everdean's or Hawthorne's longer than usual. I really didn't want to go back to the Victor Village and face Peeta. They were both wary of me at first, but i think they want things to go back to normal as much as i do. I've even hunted with Katniss and Gale recently. They too were unsure of my intentions, but we're best friends so we slipped easily back into our joking friendly nature and messing around with each other. Then quickly becoming our fluid killing machines.

We visited the Hob and i stayed well away from Ripper who cackled every time she saw calling out "You'll be back Missy! Once you get a sip you just have to take another!" she shouts gleefully. Thankfully Katniss and Gale don't comment on this. Yesterday i visited my parents for the first time in weeks. I opened the door to our house and saw my parents sitting there eating dinner. It was so normal and peaceful i burst into tears on the spot. They rushed to my side stroking my back and talking to me softly asking what happened and what was going on. I said nothing. They didn't seem to mind. That night they tucked me into my old bed and kissed my forehead. They said goodnight from the doorway but i stayed awake. My head was too crowded with everything.

Why would they give up so willingly? They still had some fight left in them. Either of them could have taken Peeta and I down. So why didn't they? Why let me live? What was Haymitch trying to do? These questions and a few others ran on repeat in my head. I never got close to a logical answer. I knew who might have them though. So that stuffy, humid August day i decided to step out the front door. I was tiered of hoping fences. I was tired of avoiding him. I wanted to see him. Even if i didn't talk to him.

As expected Peeta ran out of his house and onto the gravel walk way chasing after me. "Will you stop Catora! Look at me!" he shouts catching me off guard. I stop walking and stand motionless. He walks around to face me and peers down at me. Luckily i've kept my face a blank slate. I don't want to express any sort of emotion during this encounter. I might give myself away. I might fall back into our little lie. "Talk to me! Please. I'm going insane. I don't know anything! I'm sorry." he apologizes. I stare at him. He grinds his teeth. I can practically hear it. "Catora. Are you just going to stand there and look at me?" he demands. In response i walk away. "No! Catora!" he shouts yanking me back.