cuts | 5sos

chapter forty-nine

When we got home, the first one that saw us, was Luke. "Ashton what the hell happened to your neck?" He asked and I widened my eyes, holding my hand in front of my mouth and blushing. Everybody was sitting on the couch and turned their heads to look at us. Calum widened his eyes and started to laugh and Michael got furious. Judy held her hand in front of her mouth and widened her eyes at me.

"Please tell me he got attacked by a bear." Michael said, getting up and walking over to me. "No?" I said, furrowing my eyebrows. Michael got even angrier and grabbed my wrist. "Sit down, we're all having a family meeting. It is time that it happens!" He yelled at me and I just sat down in between Judy and Ashton.

Judy grabbed my hand, squeezed it really quickly and then letting go again. "This, Hannah, is unacceptable." He said. I raised my eyebrows and just stared at him. "Excuse me, having sex with my boyfriend is unacceptable? We have been dating for almost eight months!" I yelled back at him.

Calum stared at Michael and I, slowly getting up. "This is obviously a family thing so-" He said, grabbing Luke's wrist to hopefully get them both out of this uncomfortable situation but Michael turned to face him. "Sit down." He said, fury in his eyes.

Michael looked at me, not sure what to say after what I told him. He didn't know what to say because I was right. Ashton and I have never fought before, we've been what most people would call a 'power couple' and our love has only grown stronger. It was going to happen at any moment and I am happy it did when it did.

Ashton was there for me in my darkest times, he helped me recover from my cutting, my depression. He had an effect on me that no other drug or medicine could ever give me. Medication for depression is there just to make you less sad, Ashton is making me feel happiness again.

Before I met Ashton, I was ready to end my life and nobody would care. When I met Ashton, he was the one to pick up my pieces, when it should have been Michael, after all these years.

I looked at Michael, who had sat down again in front of me. "I'm sorry, okay." He said, I was surprised he apologized, totally did not expect that. Michael had always been hard with apologizing. 

But he should apologize, if only he knew.

If only he knew about my cutting, if only he knew it got worse when he left me. If only he knew I wanted to commit suicide.

But he didn't know, and he won't. 

Ashton looked at me, he was staring in to my eyes. When I was looking back in to his, he looked at my arms and raised his eyebrows. Like he was trying to say I had to tell him, right now. But I was not going to do that.

"You do know you should not only apologize for the fit you just threw right now, right?" I asked Michael. He looked at me, just surprised by how bitchy I was being. It was like I had broken, but grown all at once.

Maybe this was because of Ashton, because if Ashton wanted to love me and make love to me. Than that was the best thing ever. He gave me this confidence. Nothing could ever break me now, he gave me the feeling I mattered.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Michael said, getting up again. Judy grabbed his wrist and told him to stay calm. "You should apologize, I've been gone on tour, I have not spent one day together with you, my sister, since I have been back, instead you've been fucking my best friend!" He yelled at me. 

I could see Calum and Luke feeling uncomfortable in the back. I mean, what would you think. They have nothing to do with it but Michael just makes them stay. They both stared at their hands or shoes, not knowing what to say.

Ashton grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze, making sure I would stay calm. Michael was making me furious at this point. 

"Excuse me, I am not fucking your best friend! I am making love to my boyfriend, that is a huge difference!" I yelled back, Luke and Calum were now really uncomfortable. I noticed Judy slip a small mini smile to me and Ashton gave my hand another squeeze. "I am by the way, almost eighteen!"