cuts | 5sos

chapter five

It had been an hour since Michael had left the room and I was laying on Ashton's bed, I was just thinking about everything that happened, it made me tired but I had to think about it for a while. I needed a little time for myself to let all of this sink in. That was, until I heard the door open so I looked up.

I saw it was Ashton so I smiled and sat back up, "Sorry, I thought you were asleep." I shook my head and he joined me on the bed, leaning against the wall with is back. "So how did it go?" He asked, truly interested. "It went okay, we sorted things out and I told him I accepted his apology. He told me he loved me, I believe him." Ashton smiled, it looked like it was because it was of the word 'love'.

"And what happens when we go back on tour, in like six months." He sighed, letting his head falI back against the wall. The timing wasn't perfect but I was happy that we got things sorted out, kinda. I just looked at my hands. "I don't know." I said with a sing-sang voice. I had gotten comfortable around Ashton in a matter of seconds. 

"That sounds good! Sing for me!" He said and got up on top of the bed, starting with jumping up and down, causing me to almost fall off of it. "What? No!" I laughed and sprinted towards the other side of the room.

He followed me and I jumped on top of one of the other beds, jumping over the four beds that were in the room and back to his bed, he ran behind me and grabbed my waist. He lifted me over his head and he threw me on one of the beds.

His dimples were visible, a huge smile on his face. But then, he grabbed my wrists. 

And I got caught. 

He sighed and grabbed my wrists again, rolling up the sleeves of my leather jacket and he stared the numerous amount of cuts on my wrists. "Why?" He stared. He took off my leather jacket even though I fought against it. Eventually he held my arms in his hands and he just stared at them.

"Representations of insecurities, thoughts, words." I trailed off as the tears started streaming down my face. He looked me in my eyes and let go of my wrists. I covered them up by putting on my leather jacket again and I stared back at my hands, sighing.

 I then let my head fall in to my hands and he didn't say anything. Could I actually trust Ashton with this secret, the biggest secret of my life. "I know you are probably doubting my trustworthiness, but you can trust me." He said and I wiped away some tears from my cheeks. 

"Please don't tell anybody, please, Ashton, promise me you won't tell anybody." I started crying again and he nodded. "I'll promise." He said.

"It's because of my life, my dad's suicide, my mother who had turned an abusive, slutty, drunk. I am always alone because of my brother and people call me names that make no sense." I teared up and Ashton took me in to his arms, trying to keep me calm.

Eventually, I was just in Ashton's arms, crying.

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rlly short chapter i'm sorry