cuts | 5sos

chapter thirty-four

"Hannah, are you awake?" Judy's fragile voice sounded from the doorway. 

It has been hell, my room was dark and the only light was coming from the blinds that were coming through a small beam of light. I groaned, turning around. It was Monday, we weren't at school, the management of 5 Seconds Of Summer did that for us, they probably told them we were emotional wretches that were crying in bed all day.

Well, I was one. Judy somehow contained strong, but that was all an act. Because when I woke up an hour ago, I heard soft sobs coming from Michael's room and I immediately knew it was Judy.

I just turned around and drowned myself in my tears. I was in one of Ashton's sweatshirts. He never wore them himself and somehow he still managed to get his smell on it. 

When we got home, Judy motioned me over to the couch, where I sat lifelessly for an hour or so, just not thinking or doing. Until I just sighed and got up to go to my room.

I stood in my room for another hour, just trying to find something so I wouldn't grab my razor and cut my arms open. But then I remembered Ashton and that he told me I was strong enough to not do that.

So, I took of my own clothing and grabbed something from Ashton, and stared extra long at the picture board hanging on the wall.

"Hannah, you need to eat something." Judy walked in, putting a plate and a glass on the nightstand next to the bed. I felt the covers getting lifted and then the mattress dipping in next to me. 

Judy's hot body immediately creeped on to my skin. I turned around and stared at her into her eyes for what felt like years. "How are you feeling?" Judy smiled softly, laying one hand under her head to balance it out more.

"Is it weird that i feel nothing unless it's pain?" I asked her as she grinned for a split second, slowly shaking her head. "No, that's completely normal."  "Oh, great,  because that feeling sucks." We laughed, until we both sighed and just thought about what to do. 

Judy made me laugh so much, that I felt better almost immediately. "Can we do something, I am bored." She whispered, breaking the long silence, I tried to keep in my laugh, "What do you want to do?" I sighed, grabbing the remote control that belonged to the television on the wall.

"What do you want to see?" I asked, her, zapping through several channels. Landing on one of those celebrity rumour shows. "5 Seconds of Summer had some sad goodbyes, didn't they?" One of the two women said, the other one nodded.

"You've got to be shitting me." Judy said as she sat up straight, leaning against the headboard. I got up too, watching as the television showed several pictures of me and Ashton and Judy and Michael.  

"They all went in, holding hands. Ashton was holding Hannah thight." They smiled as they showed pictures that were all in a series. I wanted to say something, until they started showing pictures from inside the airport where me and Ashton were crying and kissing.

"How did they get these, this is crazy." I looked with my jaw dropped at the television. 

"But Michael and his new girlfriend were somehow the same." One of the woman said, me and Judy looked at eachother, jaws dropped and wide eyes. On the television screen, were pictures of Michael, bitting his lip and wiping away tears from Judy's cheeks. And him kissing her forehead. 

We looked at each other for a bit, it was just unbelievable how far some of these people would go.

"They walked out, holding hands." Judy and I looked up again, seeing pictures of us holding hands and getting into the car. "And the boys arrived just a few hours ago in London, we can see a puffy eyed Ashton and a rough Michael. Calum and Luke were just joking together like always." I furrowed my eyebrows whilst I looked at the screen.

Ashton's eyes were extremely red and puffy, like he cried the whole flight. And Michael had his muscles all tensed and his eyebrows furrowed. Like some sort of telepathy, Judy and I both looked at our phones at the same moment. 

We looked if we had any texts from the boys, not even in the group chat we had with them four, Judy and I. "You got something?" I asked Judy as she shook her head. "Weird." We said at the same moment. I laid down again and rolled over in my bed.

"So, are you going to school tomorrow?" Judy changed the subject. "I have to, they said I skipped school too much. I have no choice but keep strong and go through." I spoke. "Well, I have to go to work anyways, we can go together though, because you don't have your license. When are you even planning on getting it?" She asked.

It was weird how easy we could talk about stuff like this, an hour ago the only thing that was on my mind was Ashton and how much I missed him. But now we were having a conversation about school, something I hated.

"When I want to, I just don't feel rushed, I don't really need it right now." We both nodded, enjoying the comfortable silence, until the television started talking again. "Ashton has finally opened up, in an interview." I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at Judy who had exactly the same expression on her face.

"The young superstar opened up, telling he already missed Hannah a lot, but he just had to stay strong. He also said that he was planning on suprising her as quick as he got a few days off." I flushed my cheeks. "Aw, that's adorable." Judy clapped her hands.

"When is he coming?" Judy looked at me, I just shook my head. "I don't know. He said he'd suprise me." I joked. "Well I hope it's in spring break when you can spend time with him. If it's in a weekend, you still have no time."  They laughed again.

"Do you want to grab McDonalds or do you want me to cook you something?" Judy said after another silence. "Let's grab McDonalds, but I'll have to check on my face really quick, because I don't think I look like I could walk out of the house like this right now." We both laughed and got up.

"Oh my God, I look horrific." I joked, looking into the large mirror in our bathroom that was connected to our bedroom. I just shrugged and put on some concealer and mascara, I was going to be sitting in a car anyways, but I rather looked okay then just straight up bad.

I saw Judy steal some of my make-up to put it on and I just grinned. I walked over to the closet, Ashton had left some clothing of his, so I grabbed one of his huge flannels and a black t-shirt.

Judy left my room, to see if Michael left some kind of clothing article she could wear. She walked back in with one of his flannels on and a denim jacket. I just smiled and got up of my bed.

"Come on! I'm hungry!" Judy groaned as she pulled me down the stairs and I almost tripped. My phone made a little sound and I saw Ashton had finally texted me.

hey baby finally in the hotel in london so tired going to bed love you x

I smiled, knowing and understanding why he was tired, a long flight and an interview right after. I just texted him an I love you back and I walked behind Judy over to pass her the car keys from the kitchen counter.

"I'm starving! Hurry!" Judy groaned again.

"You are not starving, Judy." 

--

yeah okay so i am sorry for not updating, i had a little writersblock but im back.

im just really sorry for the being long gone, and i just want to let you know that i really appreciate all the comments and votes there are on this story.

i am reaching almost the 12k reads, which is something big.

there is something i need you guys' help with, because there is coming a new male character into the story.

so comment on this sentence, some male names and i'll pick the name i like the most, and i'll dedicate the chapter where he appears the first time to the person with the coolest name!

okay so i love you guys and see y'all in the next chapter