Room 234's VIRGIN

85. Roses thorns.

This chapter and the previous chapter consist of a whole load of shocking information to take in, so here's my advice;

Go back to the previous chapter read it, and read this again.

Hopefully it makes much more sense and those of you that were and are lost get found lol.

Song: Rose - Lee Hi
I especially love this part of the lyrics as it describes this chapter and in a way, the book:
My love is like a red rose, it may be beautiful now but my sharp thorns will hurt you. - Lee hi

"T.H. White said; perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically...to those who hardly think about us in return."-Lucas One Tree Hill

***
      Peter is sterile and he just told me. I didn't want to believe yet, sterility is something men don't joke about, same goes for affairs. Peter like Lexis was a man with great pride. He'd rather threaten me than tell such lies just to get rid of me. It didn't make sense that he'd tell such a lie just to get rid of me when he can find other ways to do that. I silently look at him and realize how similar Lexis is to his dad. They both laugh when in great pain.

"But...but how do you know it's Ryan's?" I ask once more hating myself for pouring salt on his wounds yet needing to know.

"Right after she got pregnant, Ryan who previously knew of my condition knew it was his, the fool who had the guts to sleep with my wife didn't have the courage to stay alive and deal with the effects of his decisions and instead took his own life. Rose told me and he left me this," He says reaching into his pocket and handing me an envelope.

I collect it, open it and look at it.

"Don't forgive me, I won't ask for it, instead love my child like it's yours, If it's a boy name him Nathan, if it's a girl, Blair,"

Was all it said.

     Wow, wow, I just...I wasn't sure if I should be mad he had the guts to even ask that from his brother whom he hugely betrayed and hurt, the lover and child he left behind and didn't have the courage to be responsible for or be touched that he even at his death thought of his child first and looked out for it in his own way.

This means Nathan is Lexis' half-brother by their mother but his cousin by his dad.

"How don't they know? Lexis and Nathan believe they are from different mum's, Lexis remembers his mum how doesn't he remember his own little brother?" I ask confused.

"Rose was madly in love with him, coupled with the guilt of what she did...she attempted suicide, with a baby in her. Can you imagine? A mother tried to kill herself and her child who did nothing wrong other than having the miserable faith of having such parents," He says releasing a deep breath.

"She'd lock herself up for hours in her studio, refusing to see anyone, even Alexander. She never saw him again after Ryan's death, until the day she died," He says.

"That's why he doesn't remember a pregnancy," I say to which he nods.

"When she gave birth, I took Nathan from her and asked Lea to come take care of him when she attempted to kill him again. Alexander was young and formed his own opinions of what was going on," He says getting up.

         I was speechless. Goodness, I thought my family was messed up. Lexis saw his mum kill herself but Peter had been witness to his wife and brother having an affair, which led to a child, after which they went on to kill themselves almost taking an innocent child with them. While still ruining the innocent Lexis.