There's A Fine Line Between Love And Hate

Chapter Thirty Five- But Tonight, I Need You To Stay

Hi guys, sorry that the chapter is late! There's been a lot going on at the minute with work so I've been falling behind on everything other than work. I'm hoping to have a new chapter up on time next week and to get things back on track! Also, sorry that the gif has nothing to do with the chapter, I just really love bearded Josh! Let me know what you think!

*****TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF ABUSE*****

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I woke up the next morning feeling a little less empty than I had in the last week or so. A concept that was beginning to feel very alien to me. The sunlight shone brightly through the still lying open curtains, casting a ray of light onto the empty space of the bed next to me. The blankets were a little more crinkled than normal, but I assumed that I had just moved a little more in my sleep, until I realised that I could smell coffee coming from downstairs. I threw on a hoodie that had been lying on the floor, trying to cover up a little more. I was only wearing a baggy open-sided muscle shirt and pajama shorts. The same cutesy one I’d bought in the Jack Wills shop at the airport on my way to Ohio for the first time. Before all this heartache, it seemed a million years ago. I felt as though I had lived a full lifetime several times over since then.

I walked down the stairs, seeking out the fluffy pink haired man in my kitchen. Josh was drumming a little with a wooden spoon on the sideboard, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. Well, one handed drumming, he was still in a cast and sling, something that had slipped my mind last night as held on to him for dear life.

It’s not what it sounds like. We held each other and cried. The whole night. The only words that left our mouths was reassurances to each other, you know, “It’s okay”, “I’m here”, “let it all out” etc. Before I knew it, I had reached the bottom of the stairs and was stood in the kitchen doorway, sighing heavily at the thoughts of last night. The noise alerting Josh to my arrival. He looked over at me quickly, smiling before picking up a mug.

"Hey Ava, you're meant to still be sleeping! I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed. I even tiptoed out so I wouldn’t make any noise!"

"Joshua, you're still here?" He raised his eyebrow, turning to look at me fully. He had lost a little weight, made obvious by the fact that he was not wearing a shirt. He also hadn't shaved recently, a heavy smattering of stubble along his jawline and neck making him look just a tad more scruffy than normal, but just as handsome if not more so.

"Yeah... you asked me to stay last night, right? Are you okay?" I stared down at the floor, as if the cold wood was the most interesting thing right now. I shrugged a little, not knowing what to say.

“I know, I just wasn’t expecting you to stay. I didn’t think that you’d want to see me the next day. Have you really forgiven me?” Josh put the mug back down and walked towards me, wrapping his arm around me tightly. He rested his head on top of mine as I tucked my face into his chest, trying to avoid his shoulder, squeezing back.

“Ava, come on, don’t be silly. You did nothing for me to have to forgive you. You said a couple of things when you were upset, I did too.” I bit my lip trying hard not to cry again, as I pulled away from him. Josh looked disappointed in my actions, before I took his hand in mine and walking towards the living room. I sat down on the couch, waiting until Josh was sat next to me. It was time.

“Josh, I think I want to talk about what happened. No, I need to talk to you.” I looked up at him. Josh’s eyes were narrowed,eyebrows furrowed as he searched my face, looking for a hint of something that was unknown to me.

“You mean it? You’re ready to talk about it, about everything?” I nodded, the look on Josh’s face softening until he simply looked surprised.