There's A Fine Line Between Love And Hate

Chapter Forty Four- I'm Only At It Again

Hi guys, again super late chapter, and I'm so sorry! I'm pulling long ass days at work again, especially with this whole Brexit thing, and my internet ran out too, so I had to wait for that to start again.

On the plus side though, I got to see my family and my sisters again and Harry Potter Studio Tour in Leavesden was so amazing!!

As always, let me know what you think!

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Josh and I didn't speak much that night. Or the night after. In fact, we didn't really speak to each other too much at all for the next few days. My admission had left more than a tiny bit of a wedge between us, meaning I was spending a little more time with the sound technicians and Jenna, while Josh hung out with Tyler, Mark and Brad. The distance was obvious. We were even sleeping on our own, in separate bunks.

"So what did Josh do to you?" Flanagan had snuck up behind me while we were setting up the stage on afternoon, scaring me to the point that I almost dropped a cymbal.

"Jeeze John Flanagan! You scared the shit out of me! Wait... what do you mean 'what did Josh do'? What makes you think that he did anything?"

He raised his eyebrow up at me as if he thought the answer was obvious, before he shrugged putting his hands in his jeans pockets. I fixed the cymbal onto the drum set, finishing my job before stepping back, waiting for his response.

"Well it's simple really, you've been trying to avoid him like the plague. You're barely even hanging out with each other any more. Are you guys even sneaking into each other's bunks still?"

"Hang on, you knew about that?" I thought Josh and I had kept things fairly quiet, making sure everyone was sleeping before sharing a bunk

"Ava. Everyone knew. I don't know what made you two think you were being so fly, it was so obvious, especially when we could all hear you two giggling about God only knows what."

"Oh... uh yeah that makes sense. Josh hasn't done anything though, it's me. I got a little over excited about something and was disappointed when it didn't happen." I wasn't ready to share my disappointment with anyone else, only Josh, Jenna and, more than likely, Tyler.

"Josh proposing? Is that what you were expecting?" His question caught me truly off guard.

"No? I'm not expecting that for some time yet. Why, has Josh said anything about it?" Flanagan shook his head a little.

"Uhhh no... not to me anyway, it's just what I had assumed. Are you sure you're okay?" Flanagan looked genuinely concerned, which didn't make me feel much better. At least in a couple of days I would have an answer as to what was happening with me. I could feel my stomach start churning again, and a bitter taste begin to form in my mouth.

"Yeah I'm great, just feeling a little peaky. Excuse me!" I left Flanagan quickly, speed walking my way towards the nearest bathroom.

Once I had finished throwing up again, I sat back on the bathroom floor and leaned my head against the stall door, exhausted.

A bottle of water rolled underneath the door, hitting my leg. "That's not the first time today, is it?"

I shook my head and groaned, moving over slightly to push the door open, allowing the other person to enter the stall.

"Nope, second time today Jenna. I'm so tired, it's taking everything out of me. I just feel drained all the time." I felt bad for whining to Jenna again, but she was the only person who knew the full situation.

Jenna crouched down next to me, brushing my hair out of my face. "It's going to get easier. Your hospital appointment is tomorrow, you're going to get answers then, okay?"