Deathly Love || Hoseok FF

CHAPTER 17: Secrets

The next morning, I opened my eyes to see Hoseok still sleeping. His arm was wrapped around my waist like last time.

I carefully took his arm of my waist in an attempt to get out of bed. His grip became stronger and pulled me in closer.

"Where do you think you are going?" He asked sleepily.

"We have to get up, its almost 9AM."

"Just a few more minutes.........just a little more time with you". He said with his eyes still closed.

I kept silent and looked at his sleeping face. One tear escaped my left eye.

I sniffed a little and the sound made him open his eyes.

"Are you crying?" He suddenly sat up the bed.

"No, I just have something in my eye".

I rubbed my eyes quickly. "How can I cry right when I wake up?"

"You're right, it doesnt make sense". He laughed faintly.

My tone got a little more serious. "Hoseok, we need to talk".

"Yes we do, you go first".

"I still need more time to think about what you said.....until I figure things out".

His heart sank at my words.

"YN please tell me whats holding you back". His grip got tighter on my hand.

"I feel like I dont know who you are". My head was down and some of my tresses covered my face.

"What do you mean?" He was genuinely lost.

"Tell me something, why dont you get on elevators? Why do you have 14 different brands of sleeping pills in your mirror cabinet? Why do you have nightmares all the time? I dared not to ask him this question.

He swallowed and chuckled nervously.

"Haha well I did tell you why, I love stairs....they help me exercise".

"But Hoseok, even when we have class on the 10th floor you still use the stairs.......there has to be a day when you dont feel like exercising right?"

"No.....I love doing it everyday" he said a straight lie to my face.

"Ok what about the sleeping pills?"

"They are what they are, they help me sleep when I cant".

"Dont you think 14 different brands is too much?"

His expression became dark and univiting.

"I dont know where you are trying to go with this YN....." He said coldly without looking at my face.

"Listen, you said you have feelings for me right"?

He nodded and was glad the subject came to that.

"But you dont want me to know who you are....you are shutting me out....I dont know if......."

"If what YN?" His eyes desparately searched mine.

I felt like I was choking on my own spit.

"If I can love a man I know nothing about".

Tears fell down my cheeks as I attempted to get off the bed. He grabbed my wrist.

"Please YN dont do this". His own tears fell.

"Then tell me, tell me who you are.....everything that hurts you, everything that makes you who you are."