Hosoek got up with intense sweat dripping down his body. His eyes were wide as he looked down at his hands.
He looked down me to find me still sleeping. He let out a huge sigh as he got out of bed and picked out a night rob from his drawers to cover his nakedness. Walking into his bathroom he opened his mirror and collected all 14 brands of sleeping pills. He went downstairs and got a huge jar of water.
It was 2AM again. The time he always wakes up from his nightmares. He sat at the dining table and placed all 14 brands of sleeping pills on the table.
He looked at them intensely with a deep sigh as he started to take them one by one. His tears started to fall without him realizing as he took each one. With shaky hands, he drank the whole glass of water.
He stood up to walk over to the couch and fell down due to his hazy vision. Crawling up to the couch he finally settled himself into it and fell asleep instantly.
******************
Early next morning, I stretched out my arms as I slowly opened my eyes to the bright morning sun. I looked over to my left and Hoseok was not there.
A little confused I stepped out of the bedroom in a robe only and went downstairs to check the kitchen. My eyes widened when I saw all the bottles of sleeping pills on the dining table.
Some had fallen to the floor and pills had scattered all over. I traced the trail till it led me to where Hoseok slept peacefully on the couch.
"Hoseok!" I ran to him and knelt down to gently shake him.
At first he did not move an inch. With shaky hands, I continued to shake him hoping he would wake up.
"Mmmmm....."
"Hoseok?....."
He opened his eyes slowly and focused on me.
"What?"
"Oh thank god, I thought you overdosed".
"Huh?"
"Nevermind"
I stood up to go back upstairs but he held my wrist. "YN whats wrong?"
"Nothing, I just want to take a shower".
"Ok......come down for breakfast when you are done....I will have the butler prepare something for us".
I nodded without looking back at him.
In my shower, my tears fell freely.
Why is he doing this to himself? Is it the nightmares?
******************
Hoseok had already taken his shower and was waiting for me by the table. When I arrived, I saw the mess was cleared up from the night before.
We both ate our meals in silence. I couldnt speak....not after what I saw.
"I need to get to the dorm, my sister will probably come visit me this week so I need to make sure I am around when she does that."
"No problem, I will drop you off."
"Its ok, I can go by myself....you need to rest". I smiled to try and make him not worry.
"Ok...I will give you a call later then".
I nodded as I left the dining table. He walked me to the door and out I went.
*****************
My hands shook as I texted Namjoon.
Me: Hey Namjoon.....I need to speak with you.
Namjoon: ...........
He had not replied and I got even more anxious. I decided to call him instead. He had not picked up either. My hands were shaking as I sifted through my contact list.
After 5 minutes I decided to contact Jin instead. Before I got to his contact Namjoon called me back.
"Hey YN, sorry I was in a meeting at our agency...whats up?"
"Namjoon...." My voice was shaky.
"YN?.......why do you sound.......where are you?"
"Im at the central park".
"Ok dont move, Ill be right there".
He hang up before I could respond.
**************
It took Namjoon about 15 minutes to get to the central park. It was late in the afternoon.
He texted me for my exact location after which he managed to find me sitting on a park bench.
I stood up the moment I saw him rushing towards me.
"YN.....whats wrong?"
"Namjoon.....Im scared". Tears fell easily onto my cheeks.
Namjoon walked forward and wrapped his arms around me. "Its ok YN, you can tell me everything, I will listen".
We sat down on the bench with my hands still shaking. He held them tightly to comfort me.
"Its about Hoseok".
"Did he hurt you?"
"No.....but he is hurting himself".
"What do you mean?"
"He has 14 different brands of sleeping pills and he took them all last night".
"He said they help him sleep whenever he cant. I asked him about them one time and he became so defensive over it....almost like he became
...."a different person"...... Namjoon and I said these words at the same time and we both looked at each other with surprise.
"You knew?"
"No, I had no idea he used sleeping pills....you are the first I have heard this from. We just knew about his hate for closets and elevators".
He swallowed before he continied to speak.
"I said different person because of how he had become so violent on the night of Yoongi's birthday party. We have known him most of our lives and he has never been that violent towards anyone."
"What could have caused all this?" I asked confused.
"Im trying to find answers....but I reach dead ends all the time. I even spoke to Jin about this but he didnt seem to catch on to anything."
I wiped away some of the tears that had fallen.
"He took so many pills last night that I almost thought he had overdosed." New tears fell even after I had just wiped my face.
"I love him.....but he wont let me help him with anything that troubles him...."
"Hey, dont worry so much.....I will help you through this....for now....we cant let the agency know about this till I find some answers."
I nodded as he helped me to my feet.
"We will figure this out together".
***************
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