Conceited Ways E.D

18. Insane

I woke up to my phone ringing. I look to see who it is. Of course it's Ethan. He hasn't stopped calling me for the past two days.

I haven't talked to any of them for the past two days actually. I did a deal that night and I didn't want to disappoint Gray. He tried so hard to make me better and maybe it would of worked if Ethan didn't fuck everything up.

Maybe I could of been a better person finally. Then I realized, why do I want to be? I'm fine with who I am. The only reason I wasn't fine with me was cause of Ethan and now his opinion is invalid. He himself is invalid.

I can't believe I put myself out there like that. I feel almost embarrassed by it.

"Come on Rae. You have an appointment." Cameron says and I get out of bed.

I don't want to go back to this dumb lady. Last time I went I ended up telling Grayson how I feel and look where that got me.

I put on green joggers and a white shirt. I haven't really been feeling myself lately and have been only wearing sweats. To say I look like a homeless man is an understatement.

I put on white roshees and grab my book bag. I hate purses so I usually just use a book bag.

I walk downstairs to see breakfast made as usual. I swear, he just wants people to think he's perfect.

"Hey! I made eggs and, woah you look horrible." He comments on my appearance while dropping his spoon.

Self esteem just dropped to a negative fifty.

"Woah thanks dude. Your opinion really matter." I smile sarcastically and sit at the table.

"What's up with you? Are you sick or something? You were acting fine like three days ago." He asks and I just eat my eggs.

"Isn't my dumbass therapist supposed to ask me that? Not you." I ask rhetorically. I definitely haven't been acting as nice as I was. I blame Ethan cause he's as asshole.

"Okay let's just get going cranky." He chuckles but I don't laugh. I haven't been in the mood for anything happy lately.

I get up and follow him to his car. We get in and drive to the 'office' as they call it.

We get out and walk inside. Cameron signs me in as I sit there and go on my phone. I wanted to go home and sleep. Not be here and tell her my feelings.

What is there to even tell? I don't have anymore feelings. I tried the whole feelings thing and got heartbroken before he was inside for more than a minute.

"Raeanna." She calls and we get up. We follow her to the back and go in her god awful, purple room.

"Actually Cameron, I would like to talk to Raeanna alone today if that's okay." She tells him and he nods. He leaves and closes the door quietly.

"So Raeanna, how are you?" She asks me and I roll my eyes at the generic question.

"I'd rather get stabbed in the eye than be here right now." I remark with a smirk.

"Is something bothering you?" She asks me making sure she had her notebook open.

I felt like a lab rat and she was seeing how I react to things.