Aberration ≫ Jarchie

F O R T Y - F I V E

Sixteen Years Old ❣︎ July

I'm like old Halloween candy;
The stuff nobody wanted then, and the stuff that nobody wants now.

The stuff that you save for your parents to pick through, only to find out that your parents don't want to waste their time with it either.

The stuff you forget you even had until you come across it one day, melted and sticking all over something of yours worth having.

That's me.

Jughead decided to start writing. He was searching through the junk in his closet one day and came across something he barely used as a kid, but still meant a lot to him since he kept it around.

The notebook Archie gave him for Christmas when they were five.

He opened it with a smile and immediately started pouring out everything he refused to think about or say out loud, and honestly it helps a lot.

It makes him feel better.

He would unconsciously be poetic when he wasn't trying to, but sometimes comparing his thoughts to simpler things made him feel like he wasn't insane.

He is unknowingly helping himself get through all the pain he is feeling, and for once he's doing it in a healthy way.

Things still haven't gotten much better with Archie. He hasn't talked to the redhead since February, but he still has unceasing feelings for him and it makes him mad.

So he writes about it.

He writes about how the scarlet hue is too good for him. He writes about much he misses him. He writes about their first kiss. He writes about everything the redhead does that makes his heart beat faster. He writes about how much Archie hates him. He writes about how much he's hurt because of him.

He writes about how he thinks he's in love with him.

He's never been so completely honest with himself before, and it's kind of scary because this small notebook became his most prized possession in such a short amount of time.

No one will ever see it though, because he hides it between his small vanity and the wall. He decided to call it "Words from a Bad Place", and that's what's printed in the inside cover next to his name.

He is currently sat cuddled into his blankets, furiously writing in the small journal of his.

The only thing on his mind is sex.

More like not having it.

I've never been attracted to anyone, Not even Archie Andrews.

I know that's not fucking normal, trust me, I don't know what to do.

What does that even mean? How can you just not find anyone attractive?

Isn't the whole point of the human race to make babies and be productive?

And I know that was a really bad pun but I'm just really fucking confused

I always knew I wasn't normal, but this goes way beyond my preexisting issues.

Don't even get me started on sex, it's probably my biggest fear.

Imagining it makes me uncomfortable, while it makes most people grin from ear to ear.

Rhyming is actually really hard for me, unlike my díck when I try to imagine having sex with another individual.

This is getting super corny and I think I've freaked myself out with the provided visual.

Bottom line, I'm a virgin and I plan to stay that way.

Every school and church in the world seems to think abstinence is perfectly okay.

This is me announcing my unpopular opinion on chastity;

Lock my shit away and please throw away the fúcking key.

He's written lots of thing on his feelings about sex, some of them are funny and angry like that one, but some are actually well thought out and kind of helpless in a way.

He huffs before slamming his journal closed and deciding to do something he should've done a while ago.

He looked up Archie's sexuality on the internet, so there must be someone who relates to Jughead.

"What does it mean if I'm not attracted to anyone." Jughead mumbles as he types it into his phone which was laying next to him.

The first thing that pops up is "demisexual."

Jughead definitely isn't that.

He's pretty sure he loves Archie, but he's not attracted to him.

After some scrolling, he comes across an LGBT website about asexuality.

And this is the thing that causes bells to ring in his head.

It described what he's feeling perfectly about other people. It clears up the difference between chastity and asexuality, but also mentions that asexuals fall on a wide range of what their wants are and that makes Jughead happy.

He feels normal for once, and he's happy it's actually a real thing.

He learns that some asexuals will enjoy the feeling of sex, while others will feel uncomfortable about it as a whole. Each person has their own limits when it comes to sex, even in sexual relationships, so it only makes sense.

Jughead just feels as if having sex with a person you're not attractive to is scary. It would feel one sided to him, and he's always been told that sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both people. Having someone's hands on his body in that way just seems like a complete turn off and it makes him grimace just thinking about it.

He doesn't mind his hands on his own body though, and yes, he's done that before by now.

He's asexual, it's a real thing, it's a real sexuality, and it's not a choice.

🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾

Me trying to make Jughead better :)

I feel like I'm going to be a bítch and not tell you when this book is over. I'll just end it abruptly without a warning.

I'm not good at goodbyes.

It's not any time soon though.

Also: grown up jarchie is so cute. Tbh 12th grade Jarchie and up makes my heart melt.