Belief

1.0

Nothing is better than the ecstasy found within the first few seconds after you wake up. The blurred boundary between your dreams and the reality that has yet to hit you. An airy state that tingles your stomach. Unaware of everything except the light slowly creeping into your eyes, and your mind in a limbo between what seems to be real in the moment, and what is actually real.

The weight of the events from last night slowly ruined those first few moments. My mind was being pulled out of its calm abyss as I was forced to reminisce on the aching pain in my head, imitating that of my heart. I was forced to acknowledge the mixed thoughts fogging my mind. With each wave of reality, came a pounding reminder of just how lost I was.

Rubbing my eyes, I can feel my phone vibrating next to me. I look at it to find twelve missed calls from Ashton. I groan, not ready to face my problems. I just want to go back into the sweet escape that is sleep. I want to drain my mind of its worries.

The next round of calls from Ashton remind me he isn't the one I should be avoiding. He is the one with the answers. I grab my phone, finally easing his worries, as he would soon ease mine.

"Finally, you answered," Ashton snapped. "I mean, good morning Madds."

"Morning. You seem eager to talk?" I sigh. Not sure if I was ready to hold the truth.

"I'm sorry about last night, I could have taken you home, or talked to you longer, I kinda suck don't I?" He worried, talking quickly.

"No Ash, none of it was even a big deal," I half lie knowing things got blown out of proportions.

"Well, can you come over for breakfast at least? I think you need me right now," he ordered rather than asked. I sighed, knowing he was right.

"Yeah, two days in a row? I'm a lucky girl," I joke, before hanging up.

I know this was what I needed. Answers. I just wasn't sure if they would be the answers I wanted to hear. I slipped into some yoga pants and a t-shirt before making my way out. My looks were the least of my worries today.

Within a few minutes I was walking into Ashton's apartment, letting myself in without knocking. When Ashton saw me he ran out of the kitchen, entangling me in his arms. His embrace immediately calmed the storm pounding in my head. He brought calamity and eased my nerves. With just a touch he seemed to rid me of all worries. I held him tight, ever so grateful for his presence. For being my unwavering anchor.

"How are you doing?" he whispered in my ear.

"Better now," I admitted into his warm chest. I heard a snarky whistle from behind us, looking up to see Calum taking in the scene.

"Looking good Maddie," he winked, taking in my yoga pants. I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck off," Ashton grumbled. "Can you get out? I actually have to talk to her."

"Yeah, I'm going over to torment our little Luke anyway," Calum shrugged, giving me a teasing glare before grabbing his keys and leaving. My stomach dropped at his name. Had Luke confessed everything to them as he said he would? Ashton tightened his grip around me at the mention of Luke's name, confirming my suspicions.

Ashton walked me over to the couch, and we sat there for a moment in silence. He looked as if he had too many things to say, with no way of saying them. The words trapped inside his constantly battling brain.

"So, how much do you know?" I bit my lip, touching his hand softly. He shook his head, his curls bouncing around, bringing a smile to my otherwise lifeless countenance.

"He came over last night, real late. He told the three of us everything," Ashton mumbled. His voice was the tone of concealment, I couldn't tell what he was feeling just yet. He was not as easy to read as I was. With one look at my face he immediately would know what I was thinking, it has always been that way.