Belief

1.4

I stared at the door, unable to formulate a complete thought. The echo of the door slamming filled my empty chest. Empty of breath, empty of feeling. You chose him. What was that supposed to mean? I looked at Luke's wide eyes, his frown covered by the ice pack he held against his lip, yet I knew it was there. Ashton sunk into the couch, covering his face with his hands once more as if that would somehow block any more troubles from getting to him.

Ignoring the nagging voice in the back of my flooded head, I opened the front door and ran out into the night. The cold air immediately nipped at my sides, I had failed to notice nightfall earlier. There were no stars out tonight, only the sliver of light coming from the moon. Neither Ashton nor Luke followed me. I ran down the lawn, my eyes wild, and breath heavy. I could see Michael's silhouette walking towards his car. Walking towards his easy escape. The escape I wasn't going to let him have this time.

The closer I got to Michael, I suddenly noticed the bubbling anxiety settling in the pit of my stomach. I was not one who was good with spontaneity. I liked to know exactly what would happen before diving into the waters, but lately I have been lost in unescapable stormy seas.

Just as he was reaching his car I caught up to him. The sound of my feet against the bare street made him turn around. His eyes widened at the look of my distraught face, or perhaps at my mere presence. Just as he was about to reach for the door, his last attempt at an undeserved escape, I stepped between the car and him. Blocking his reach. He tried to get past me, but I wasn't giving in this time.

"Michael please," my attempt at veering away from begging failed as he began to turn away from me.

"You don't want to get into this Maddie," he muttered, his back facing me.

"Yes actually I do. You can't just drop bombs like that and run off. It's not fair," I huffed.

"You really do not want to get into this." I could feel the heat of his words, the anger daring me to continue forward. He turned around, his eyes glaring into me, no sign of pity or gleam of understanding. They were full on forest fires ready to burn me down. I was just another sapling in the midst of his forest of casualties. He lurched for the door handle, hoping his final attempt will be enough to bail him out, but I shut the door, moving over. My arms were crossed, eyes deadlocked on his. The heat between our stares was hot enough to boil off the puddle of anxiety within me.

"Fine," he raised his hands angrily above his head, a halfhearted surrender. "I like you Maddie I fucking like you," he shouted, his eyebrows furrowed, as my heart dropped to my stomach. He looked everywhere but me. His eyes cast on a point far away. "Every time I saw you I felt myself falling for you. Every time you talked about Luke and I saw the way you looked at him I felt like fucking shit." His hands fell to his sides, his voice quieting. "I tried to stop it. I told myself over and over not to like you, but our hearts aren't that easily persuaded now are they?" he tugged at the end of his ripped up t-shirt.

His eyes glared back up at me, "Are you happy now? Happy now that you can go and laugh about how fucking pathetic I am?" He gestured angrily towards me. I stood there, unable to respond. The times when I need my words the most they seem to be hidden somewhere in the depths of my mind, unable to grasp them.

"Michael," I said softly, his gaze not meeting mine. "I would never laugh at you. You are a really sweet guy but-"

"But what? Luke? He is an asshole Maddie wake up," He shouted, making me flinch. "Before you he had nothing, and now all of the sudden he is some fucking prince charming, gentleman? Bullshit. That act can't last forever, and when it is over don't come crying to me." He spat, pushing his way to the car door. I backed away, barely holding back tears. Tiny drops navigated down the side of my cheeks. I stood there alone, being eaten from the inside out with all of my coinciding thoughts. He sped off into the distance, leaving me isolated in the dark of the night, with his words embedded in my thoughts.