Belief

4.1

I wake up with the same feeling of emptiness that I had fallen asleep with. The same feeling of loneliness and self-doubt.

I lay there for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling and debating whether it was worth it to get up. So much effort.

Pushing myself out of bed, I slip on one of my old hoodies, not in the mood to wear one of Luke's, and make my way down the hall into the kitchen.

"Good morning sweetie," Liz greets me with a kiss on the head and the smell of bacon, both of which gave me a warm feeling inside. She pats my back lightly, guiding me over to the kitchen table to sit down.

Luke was sitting at the table eating a plate full of pancakes, staring blankly at the morning news.

I felt nervous walking over to him, not sure where his feelings lie today.

"Good morning," I tentatively sit across from him. My fingers were occupying my nervous energy by twirling the tips of my hair. Without glancing up at me, Luke pushes away from the table, leaving his seat. Placing his dishes in the sink, Luke leaves the room without a word, disappearing down the hallway.

I drop the pieces of hair I had been holding, clutching my coffee mug for emotional support. Liz walks over, sliding a plate in front of me.

"Sometimes he is grumpy when he wakes up, don't worry about it dear," she pats my head with a sorry look. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong. I had woken up with Luke's smile greeting me before, but I kept quiet, not exactly wanting to admit that I have woken up next to her son before. "Well I have to run some errands, but eat your breakfast and make yourself at home," Liz smiles, grabbing her keys off of the counter. "I'll be back around dinner."

I just smile, giving her a small wave goodbye as I push around the food on my plate. I had lost my appetite. I wait until she pulls out of the driveway to hide the barely eaten remnants of my breakfast. As I put my plate away, I hear footsteps enter the kitchen behind me.

"Morning," a deep, raspy voice greets me. Turning around, Jack was pouring himself a cup of coffee. He must have just woken up considering he was walking around the house in only his checkered boxers.

"Good morning," I mumble, turning my focus back to the dirty dishes in the sink.

"So I take it you and Lukey aren't on the best of terms right now?" Jack rests his elbow on the counter next to me, watching me scrub the dishes.

"We are fine," I try to shrug him off. He grabs the wet dishes from me, drying them off and putting them away. "Thanks," I mumble.

"You know," Jack gives me a sly smile, grabbing a small towel and drying off his hands, "if you need your taste of Hemmings for the day, you know where to find me."

With that he gives me a subtle wink, placing his hand on my arm for a lingering moment before walking back down the hallway.

I stand there in shock for a minute. Did Jack just hit on me? I just shake it off, highly doubting that to be a possibility. Walking back over to the table, I grab my phone. There was no reason for me to stay here for the rest of the day. Ashton had taken Lauren, Harry, and his mother to the beach for the day and Calum's mother took him out to lunch. I guess I could go see what Mikey is doing.

I debate for a second whether I should get changed, but I figured my shorts and hoodie would suffice. Knowing Michael, he was probably hiding in the depths of his room wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday.

Walking down the street, I wait until I recognize the house we had dropped Mikey off at last night. Turning down the last corner, I run up to his porch, helplessly hoping he was home. I give the door a few knocks, shuffling my feet nervously as I wait. Some old lady was watering her flowers next door, looking at me as if I was mental.