"I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to feel numb," I said, and John looked up at me from the couch, his eyes glassy. It had only been a few minutes since he left me, but I hated being alone with myself.
"What are you talking about? Slow down," He said, and I stayed clinging to the doorframe.
"I don't feel anything anymore, ever. I cant stand myself. I'm short tempered, and I'm pretty sure I have something called postpartum depression," I said quickly, and John looked overwhelmed.
"Come here," he said, holding his arms out to me, and I rushed into them. He held me closely, and then suggested a plan.
"Okay, calm down. Let's just figure this out; start with the small things. How about breastfeeding? Is here anything we can do?" he asked, and I shrugged, struggling to remember what the nurses said at the hospital.
"Okay, um.... The nurses said something about massaging the breasts," I said, and John smirked.
"I can um... handle that," he said, and I blushed madly.
"You really don't have to," I said, but he insisted. I took off my shirt, and John looked a my bra. I then stripped that off and threw it to the ground. He stared at me longingly, and I leaned towards him.
"Kiss me already," I said, and he did. Quickly, the rest of my clothes, and then his, followed my shirt and bra on the ground.
"I love you," I said quickly against his lips, and he smiled, and for once, I let go. I wasn't worrying about the future, or the past, or even the present, for that matter. I was only worrying about the man that was pressed against me. That is, until she began to cry.
"I'll get her," John said, and le me go to quickly put on his clothes, as I did with mine. I wanted to pull my hair out at the fact that the perfect moment was gone. After she went back down, John came back into the living room.
"John..."
"Blaire, I'm sorry. We were caught up in the moment, and it was a mistake," He said quickly and I felt hurt, but I didn't let it show.
"Yes, a mistake. Exactly."
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well fuck.
YOU ARE READING
Girl (completed)
FanfictionWhen Blaire Harrison gets back from a year at her Aunt's, her brother's friend, John, takes an instant liking to her. She has been through hell and back, and coming back to the house she once though of as home only seems to make her demons reappear.
