Girl (completed)

56

•••SAVVANA'S POV•••
   Whrn I get home, I walk into my empty flat and sigh, sorting through my mail. Halfway through, I realize that I haven't really been looking at what I'm sorting, and just toss it aside.  
   I think of him and twirl my engagement ring around, appreciating how it shines in the light. I can't help but smile when I remember the first time I slipped it on, tears rolling down my cheeks and my mind racing.
   He had taken me to a park and we watched the sun set, and as the pink clouds rolled over the horizon, he got down on one knee and took my hands in his.
   "Savanna Jones, will you do me the Honor of marrying me?" He had asked simply, and I nodded, speechless.
   "Of course," I had finally said, and he slipped the shining ring on, a symbol of our love.
   Even though we were to married, he still got quiet whenever I asked him when we were moving in together. He would make excuses to continue living with Blaire, and it was simply preposterous.
   Just as I was imagining them kissing again,  the phone rang, startling me and making me snap out of my trance.
  "Hello?" I asked, and John's voice made my heart stop.
  "Hey. I was just calling to make sure you got home okay," John said, and I took a deep breath to gather myself.
  "I did," I answered quickly, and he grew suspicious.
   "Are you okay? You rushed out of here pretty quickly," he commented, and I leaned against the counter, plastering on the biggest smile I could manage.
   "I'm fine, love. I really just had to go get my dry-cleaning," I said, and then mentally smacked myself.
   "I thought you were shopping?" He asked and I quickly fixed my mistake.
   "Yes, well I did both," I lied, and he bought it.
   "Oh, okay," he said, "well goodbye, love."
   About thirty minutes after we had bod our farewells, I heard a knock at my door. I quickly opened it, and John rushed in, seemingly overwhelmed.
   "John?" I asked, and he turned to me quickly.
   "I don't know why I came here," he said, and I laughed slightly.
   "Calm down, dear," I said, and he appeared to be on the brink of tears.
   "What is in the future, for us, I mean?" He asked, and I ran a hand through my hair.
   "John, you're scaring me," I said, and he stopped pacing.
   "Blaire and I kissed," he spit out quickly, and I bit my nails.
   "I see," I said simply, and he took my hands in his.
   "It meant nothing, I swear," he expressed, and I retracted my hands.
   "What are we doing?" I asked seriously, and he looked at me hopefully.
   "Getting married?" He asked hopefully, and I looked away, unable to meet his gaze. I looked down and slipped off my ring, holding it in my hands for a moment before handing it to him and closing his fist around it.
   "Just go," I said, and he protested, only causing more pain in my heart. I wanted more than anything to say that I forgave him, and to jump back into his arms, but that wasn't my place, and in truth, maybe it never had been.
   "Come on, Savanna. You have to understand, she was my first love so it's just been hard to let her go," he reasoned, and I looked up at him sadly.
   "I understand more than you will ever know, because you were my first love, and letting you go is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do," I said, and then I turned away. It just hurt too much.
   "I truly am sorry," he said, and I nodded, wiping away the tears.
   "So am I," I said, and then I heard my front door open and close. When I turned, he was no longer get there, but the ring was sitting on my coffee table. I quickly hid it in a shoebox, along with every letter John had ever sent me, and hid it in the top of my closet. Maybe years from now, I'll revisit that part of my life and wonder what could have been, but that was for the future. For now, all that I could do is plan for the future.
   I then decided to pray. I prayed that they were happy together, and that they would have the happily ever after that I had been searching for. And then I did something that really surprised me.
   "Hello?" I heard her voice call over the phone, and I gulped.
   "I'm really sorry," I said, and she sighed.
   "For what?" She asked.
   "For the way that I've treated you. I never really understood how you felt," I said, and she didn't say anything for a while.
   "And when did you begin to understand?" She asked, and I closed my eyes tightly, reliving the memory.
   "When I told him to go, and he did," I said slowly, and she breathed deeply.
   "Is there any way that we can be friends?" She asked, and it felt like she was twisting the knife.
   "No, Blaire. I'm sorry, it just hurts too much," I said, and she sighed.
   "Promise that you'll call me in a year, and tell me how things are," she asked, and I reluctantly agreed. Maybe by then it won't hurt me to look at her, and see everything that he left me for. Maybe I will have cried every tear that I can, and I'll begin to smile again.
Maybe...

•••
"Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be,
The future's not ours to see,
Que sera, sera
       -Doris Day"