Girl (completed)

40

   "It's over," I said to Paul, and he sighed, grabbing my hand and squeezing it reassuringly.
   "No, sweetie. He loves you. I can tell," he said, and I shook my head, dabbing the corners of my eyes so that my makeup doesn't run.
   "Maybe he used to, but not anymore. He said it last night. It's over," I said, and Paul inched closer to me on his bed.
   "Well I think you're swell," he commented slowly, looking into my eyes. I stared back, and quickly became entranced in his big doe eyes.
   "You do?" I said, and he leaned in. We were only inches apart now.
   "Yeah," he said, and then kissed me. I gasped against the kiss, and he began to take control.
   His lips tasted like ciggerette and mint. I suddenly pushed him away, standing abruptly.
   "I must go," I said, and turned for the door. I ran quickly down the hall and out of the front door. He followed me out, but I walked hastily away. It wasn't until he grabbed my shoulder that I spun around.
   "Blaire, I didn't mean to. I am so sorry," he apologized, and I just rolled my eyes.
   "You didn't mean to? That's the best you got?" I asked, laughing at the end.
   "Blaire, come on. Cut me some slack. You looked so beautiful, and that dress. Can you blame me?" He said, and my jaw dropped.
   "You're right! Its my fault that you couldn't control your urges! I was sad, Paul, and you took advantage of that!" I yelled, and ran away. I feel like I'm always running now.
•••
   "Hey," I heard a voice call, and I turned Ed to see my brother standing, looking down at me.
   "Hey," I said back, and he sat with me, letting his feet dangle off of the pier.
   "How did you know where I was?" I asked, looking out onto the water. Boats surronded us, and the setting sun reflected off of the water beautifully.
   "Well, Paul told me that you were upset, and I remembered that one time that you ran away. You came here," he said, and I laughed.
   "I forgot about that," I said, and then sighed, looking back out on the water.
   "It took me an hour to find you. You were distraught and when I asked you why.." he started, and I finished.
   "I was mad that mom took away my doll because I didn't put my clothes away," I said, and he nodded.
   "Exactly, and you got mad when I laughed, but I told you that one day you'd realize how dumb it was," he said, and I looked down fiddling with my fingers.
   "It's all just falling apart," I whined, and he put his arm around me in a brotherly manner.
   "You'll piece it back together," he said, and I shrugged.
   "I really don't know this time," I said, and he sighed as the sun began to disappear from the orange sky.
   "What are you going to do for now?" He asked, and I shrugged.
   "I guess I'll live with John for the twin's sake," I said, and he nodded, biting his cheek anxiously.
   "Did he hit you?" George asked suddenly, and I looked up at him in confusion.
   "Why?"
   "Blaire, did he hit you?" He asked more sternly this time, and I nodded.
   "Goddamnit, Blaire! When were you going to tell me?" He shouted, and I jumped at the sudden raising of his voice.
   "Never. It only happened once, and that was forever ago. Who told you?" I asked, and he didn't answer, "Paul," I guessed, and he didn't look at me.
   "Blaire, why didn't you tell me?" He saked, and I rolled my eyes, pulling away from him in anger.
   "You weren't speaking to me," I said, and he clenched his fists, quickly releasing them and taking a few breaths before retorting.
   "I'm going to kill him," he said, and we both stood.
   "No! I'm tired of everyone fighting my battles for me!" I yelled, and he looked down with remorse, "just leave me be."
   With that, I walked home silently. I watched everyone. The children, the parents, the lonely people. That was the day that everyone was lonely, at least a little, if you looked close enough.
  There were the obvious kinds; the middle-aged women that read romance novels with the candles lit and a bubble bath. But there were also the people that seemed so in love.
  Maybe they were the most lonely. Left to grasp at the concept of love that society has crafted with it's gently murderous hands.
   As they watched their kids run around in the front yard, growing up before their eyes. Waiting for their significant others to come home, and it made me sick.
  But I knew that I had to be the most lonely person in Liverpool, walking into a loveless home with a man that despised me, and children I didn't want.
 
Children I didn't deserve.
•••
Does anyone remember this from my original version of the book? Some of you actually shipped her and Paul and I'm

S H O O K