Girl (completed)

52

   "Do you think I'm a slut?" I asked Paul as we laid in the bed together, tangled sheets separating our naked bodies.
   "No," Paul said, and I rolled away from him, on my side. He then put his arm around me, and I could faintly smell his cologne.
   "Why, love?" Paul asked, and I felt like crying.
   "I don't know. John just seems to be really settling down with Savanna," I said, and Paul laughed.
   "That's what this is about? I'll let you in on a little secret. John may day that he loves her, but he's always had wandering eyes," Paul said, and I turned towards him in interest.
   "Really?" I asked, and he nodded.
   "Blaire, I think I love you," Paul said, and my eyes went wide. I didn't say anything, and I think after a while, he got the point, "you don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know."
  "I am so, so sorry, Paul," I said, and he sighed.
   "Can I just hold you?" He asked, and I nodded. He held me all through the night, and I just laid there thinking about John.
   I bet that at that moment, he was lying with her, talking about their future. Talking about everything they wanted to have someday.
  That's when I realized the terrible truth. I had barely seen my kids in the last month, and it was all because of her. I was scared to even go home in fear that I would see them together.
   "Paul, I must go," I said, and he just snored in response. I hastily got a cab home, and snuck in quietly, as not to wake John and the kids.
   I heard laughing coming from the living room, and I almost wanted to turn around when I heard Savanna's giggles.
  "Blaire, hi," John said as I walked in, and I set my coat on the coat rack, not looking at the pair.
  "Blaire, hello," Savanna said coldly, but John didn't seem to take notice, and if he did, he didn't say anything.
   "I'm sorry to come so late at night, I just wanted to sleep in my own bed," I said, and Savanna rolled her eyes.
   "Sure," John said cheerfully, and I took a deep breath.
   "I need you to understand this. I'm not going anywhere. So you'd better get used to me," I said, and while John was super confused at my bold statement, savanna understood what I'd meant perfectly.
   "Okay?" John said awkwardly, and Savanna cut her eyes at me, but at that moment, I didn't care. I was going to be perfectly okay.
   So I went into my room and recalled all of my great times with John. He was always there for me, I'd come to realize. He was there when I came back to Liverpool, just to make sure I wasn't alone. He was there for me when I'd hit rock bottom the year before that.
  And here he was, being a chivalrous gentleman and taking care of children that weren't his, with a woman that he didn't love.
   Long after I'd gone to my room, Savanna slipped in, and though I couldn't see her, I could smell her trashy perfume.
   "Blaire, let's talk," she said, and leaned against my dresser.
   "Let's," I said, and sat up in my bed.
   "I don't like the way that you always hang around John," she stated plainly, and I shrugged in the darkness.
   "Funny, I don't like you hanging around John either," I said, and she tapped her fingernails on my dresser.
   "He loves me," she said, and I rolled my eyes, "and I know that you think that he doesn't, but he does. He doesn't want you anymore, okay? He told me the other day that if it weren't for the kids, he would have left you long ago, so just back off," she ordered, and I felt myself redden with anger.
   "Get the hell out!" I yelled, and she laughed.
   "Oh Blaire, I just want to be friends, I really do," she said, and I almost lost it.
   "You are a cunt," I stated, and she laughed again.
   "I hope you know what you're doing, and all of the hurt that you're going to cause paul. I've seen the way he looks at you, and you using him to fuck with John might be the cruellest thing I've ever seen," she said, and I couldn't say anything, because she was completely right.
   "Goodnight, Blaire," she said before slipping out quietly, and so many thoughtd ran through my head.
  Would John really say something like that? Does he really feel that way?
•••
I should be doing HW rn but oh well I hope you guys are happy with my shitty writing.
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